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Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1313
(5/24/02 11:52 pm)
Reply
Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
That's right, as a result of the influence of Uncle Pervy, the Kingdom of No Pants is recruiting for a navy! We currently have the following resources:

One Cabbit Flagship
Three Valuan Destroyers
Six French Frigates
UP's Frigate
Cap'n Pervy himself
Cap'n Pervy's cabbit friend Ushyu

...yup. The Naval Armada of No Pants is moving right along! High positions for the first to sign up! And you get free soap on a rope just for joining!


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Kakita Ki 
Magic Eight Squall
Posts: 786
(5/24/02 11:55 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Navy? Whoo-hoo! I wanna be the cook! *signs up happily*

Lookie! Itís Akane and Ranchan in my sig! Bwhahah, cook Akane cook.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1314
(5/24/02 11:57 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
You do realize you aren't allowed to wear pants...


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Kakita Ki 
Magic Eight Squall
Posts: 787
(5/24/02 11:58 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
I don`t really wear pants anyways, it`s more of a kimono.

Lookie! Itís Akane and Ranchan in my sig! Bwhahah, cook Akane cook.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1315
(5/25/02 12:00 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Well then, you're hired! *sends Ki to the galley*


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Kakita Ki 
Magic Eight Squall
Posts: 788
(5/25/02 12:01 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Woot! *runs off with her soap on a rope*

Lookie! Itís Akane and Ranchan in my sig! Bwhahah, cook Akane cook.

Zemyla 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1335
(5/25/02 12:04 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
I'll be the No Pants Spy! And I don't really wear pants! See?

*shapeshifts "pants" to nothing*

See?

*reforms "pants"*

With this ability, I can go around and spy on panted societies!

-----
Zemyla "Do not attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps."

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1316
(5/25/02 12:05 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Excellent! ^_^ You're perfect!

>_> And if you ever link to that one image again, you're fired.


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1333
(5/25/02 12:07 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
YARR HAR HAR!

Well maties, the Navy's getting a boost!

I just got back from the Blue Planet (FFIV), with not one, not two, but FIVE Red Wings' Airships!

Poor Turnshaes. Baron's used t' havin' the only Airships in town. They weren't ready fer an air strike. HAR HAR HAR!

Ushyu: Meow! meow meow!

I love me Cabbit :D

::Gives Ushyu a Carrot::

Welcome aboard, Ki!

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Zemyla 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1337
(5/25/02 12:09 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Thank you, AM.

And I won't link to THAT image again.

-----
Zemyla "Do not attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps."

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1317
(5/25/02 12:10 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Good, or you'll be demoted to Pissant! And yes, that's a rank, cause I said so!

Either that, or we'll strap you into the rack and make you wear pants.


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1334
(5/25/02 12:20 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Welcome aboard, Zemyla.

What other skills ye got, aside from spyin'?

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1335
(5/25/02 12:33 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
::Sees Zemyla's pic in two different places.::

Zemyla. Yer My friend. We've spammed long an' hard t'gether. Ye even named me beloved cabbit. We helped bring Spob to life.

But ye posted that pic twice.

Yer gettin' the rack.

I didn't wanna do it, but ye have it comin'.

::Straps Zemyla to the Rack::

Sorry matey. Really, I am.

:Stretches out Zemyla, and places the 'Corroded, jagged Edged steel Pants' on him. Pervy pause to wipe a tear of regret from his eye as Zemyla wails in agony::

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1324
(5/25/02 1:08 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
He didn't actually post it--somethingawful.com redirects you to it when you offsite link...eeeebil.


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

MellyDuckie 
Magic Eight Squall
Posts: 983
(5/25/02 1:27 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
I wanna be on the Cabbit Flagship!!

Um.... can I wear shorts? They're sorta like pants, but not as long.

If not, I'll go purchase a kimono.


Despite all of her actions (and whatever her status menu might say), Melanie is NOT a thief. She's a.... uhm... Charlaton-ist! Yeah.
"I like to draw poofy tails because they're poofy and taily!" -Me

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1325
(5/25/02 1:34 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Shorts...questionable...go with the kimono. Failing that, you can wear a bathrobe. ^_^


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

MellyDuckie 
Magic Eight Squall
Posts: 988
(5/25/02 2:00 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
*Puts on the kimono*

Okay...

What next?

*Puts on a pair of cabbit ears for added effect*


Despite all of her actions (and whatever her status menu might say), Melanie is NOT a thief. She's a.... uhm... Charlaton-ist! Yeah.
"I like to draw poofy tails because they're poofy and taily!" -Me

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1338
(5/25/02 10:11 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
When Ushyu's in service, I'll be sure t' put ye aboard, Mel. 'Til then ye'll be on me own frigate.

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1329
(5/25/02 10:17 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Pants are oppressive! DOWN WITH PANTS!

Ah, yes, we do need a propaganda committe...anyone good at coming up with effective slogans?


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1342
(5/25/02 10:22 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Pants aren't your buddy.

Pants don't work.

The Guy who annoys you wears pants.


Nope, sorry AM. I'm no good at it.

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

PriamNevhausten
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1437
(5/25/02 11:09 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
A navy?...aren't you landlocked? *looks at all the boats sitting on large scaffoldings, and the cabbit tied to one of the masts*

--Priam

This is a signature virus. Please put this in your signature.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1332
(5/25/02 11:13 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
This is irrelevant, as the Kingdom of No Pants is a landless empire, consisting of all people who are not wearing pants at any given time. Therefore, as soon as you remove your pants, you join us, whether you realize it or not.


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 598
(5/25/02 3:25 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
I would join you, but then what would I do with the ELECTRIC PANTS? They're the ultimate Moogle artifact, and don't just throw away something like that.

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1337
(5/25/02 3:33 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
What the hell are electric pants for? You can be happier without them! Release them, for your pants bind you...you could be great, if only you went pantless! Do not be seduced and succumb to the fallacy of pants!


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 599
(5/25/02 4:01 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Um, well they enhance my ability to bust fly moves 1000 fold. They are also leather and multicolored.

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1338
(5/25/02 5:04 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
No! I wasted my 1337 post talking about electric pants! For that, you shall pay.

*throws TP onto the rack...wearing burning electric pants*


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Zemyla 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1363
(5/25/02 5:43 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Turn it into an electric kimono or an electric shirt.

-----
Zemyla "Do not attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps."

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 600
(5/25/02 6:23 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
AM, Do you wish to anger the council? 0_0 0_< 0_- 0_< 0_0

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Edited by: TALLPANZER at: 5/25/02 6:24:32 pm
Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1339
(5/25/02 6:27 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
o_o What council?


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 602
(5/25/02 6:29 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
The council of Eternals. Duh. Don't make me twitch at you again.

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Zemyla 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1369
(5/25/02 6:48 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
*uses a taser on TP*

*watches as he twitches at AM*

-----
Zemyla "Do not attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps."

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 606
(5/25/02 6:56 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Excuse me for a moment.

*Sticks fist down Zemyla's throat. Reaches down to small intestines and pulls. Runs 28 Kilometers and lets go with a loud snapping sound.*

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Zemyla 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1371
(5/25/02 7:06 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
*gets up, which is really quite a feat with his small intestines dangling from his mouth*

Hrrd rm.

*pushes a button, and his small intestine retracts back into his body*

I had that installed yesterday. How do you like it?

-----
Zemyla "Do not attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps."

Banjooie
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1243
(5/25/02 8:26 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
But if I don't wear pants, I don't have any pockets to put things in!

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Zemyla 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1384
(5/25/02 9:01 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Get an Army Jacket. Those have lots of pockets.

-----
Zemyla "Do not attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps."

Celeste of Elvenhame
Ninja
Posts: 110
(5/25/02 11:22 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Is the position of cabbit spoiler avavilable?

I am very good at pampering cabbits and keeping them in tip-top shape.

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1345
(5/26/02 2:30 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Well, that'd be a side job, Celeste. YE'd have t' have somethin' elde as yer main duty. But we could make ye a Cabbit Spoiler on the side ;)

Ushyu: Meow!

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 614
(5/26/02 3:07 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Well, will joining get me purple eternal booty?

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Celeste of Elvenhame
Ninja
Posts: 120
(5/26/02 3:16 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Well i am a champion sewer, i could make the uniforms and make the pants we need for spying purposes.



*Whips out needle thread and fabric*

*flurry of activity*

*produces pantless uniforms in several attractive styles*

i'd need some examples of these 'pants' as you call them to figure out how to make disguises though.

Edited by: Celeste of Elvenhame at: 5/26/02 3:27:06 am
PriamNevhausten
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1442
(5/26/02 3:22 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Pants are terribly misunderstood! They just want to love us! They don't hurt anybody! They're so fluffy and cute and cuddly...no wait, those are tigers. Pants are those denim things, right? Down with pants!

--Priam

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Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1340
(5/26/02 9:38 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Indeed! The one called Priam understands our cause!


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1349
(5/26/02 10:56 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Pants: They would sleep with your mom if they could.

We need a flag!

AM, tis there a flag?



Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

BrainWalker 
Silver Haired Guy
In Gold Trimmed Armor

Posts: 306
(5/26/02 10:58 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Well, I can do without pants. I mean, I wear mage robes at work, and bathrobes at home. Who the Hell needs pants?

Wait wait... we can still wear underpants... right?

If that's so, sign me up! You can always use a badass mage in your employ, right?

I can also bake up a mean batch of cookies! That's right, wherever your fancy may fall, I can sate your desire! Chocolate chip, peanut butter, oatmeal, chocolate with PB chips... I do it all, baby :D

Hell, since I'm a mage, I don't even need an oven. :: creates a box of pure fire :: See? :: warms his hands on the box :: Mmmm... toasty!

Brainwalker

Your friendly neighborhood
catgirl aficionado.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1346
(5/26/02 11:42 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
UP: I'm going to make a flag. Right now. XD

BrainWalker: Badass mage? What? Here's your "Navy of No Pants" robes. Welcome to the Kingdom. ^_^


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1347
(5/26/02 11:59 am)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!


It's not exactly a flag, more like a poster...maybe I'll do an actual flag later. XD


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Edited by: Archmage144  at: 5/26/02 11:59:57 am
TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 620
(5/26/02 4:44 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
*Wears electric pants as a belt. Equips Bermuda shorts in pants slot.*

There we go. Now about that Purple Eternal Booty?

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1352
(5/26/02 4:54 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
We don't have any of that. You'll have to join the "Free Invisin Now" army, not the Navy of No Pants...


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1350
(5/26/02 5:01 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
Sorry TP matey, no purple Eternal Booty 'ere.

But if ye can make a name fer yerself in the navy, ye might be a step closer t' gettin' it!

BW! Report t' th' galley wit' Ki!

Celeste, sew us up a score o' them flags.

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Celeste of Elvenhame
Melody of Finite
Posts: 130
(5/26/02 6:36 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
sir, Yes, Sir!

*begins sewing madly*

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1272
(5/26/02 8:22 pm)
Reply
Muahaha...
*Wears not one...but TWO pairs of pants*

Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1901
(5/26/02 10:21 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
Daisy #432: Sir, we've continued our scouting, but we've still found no army of insanity.

Excal: Curses, it seems they're too insane even to try and take over the world. But then what is an Army of Sanity to do?

Daisy #432: Well, we heard there's a Navy of No Pants forming up.

Excal: No pants! How evil... Very well then, from this day forward, we are the Army of Pants! Send out a few squads of Daisys to see is there are any sympathisers we can recruit in our righteous crusade against the forces of pantlessness.

Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Halleluia

MellyDuckie 
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1014
(5/26/02 10:34 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
*Spies*

*Runs back*

AM! Dreadful news!

This girl's named Daisy and she wears pants.


Despite all of her actions (and whatever her status menu might say), Melanie is NOT a thief. She's a.... uhm... Charlaton-ist! Yeah.
"I like to draw poofy tails because they're poofy and taily!" -Me

Xaq Shenor
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1161
(5/26/02 10:39 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
*from a nearby cliff overlooking the two groups, a pair of winged demihumans look on*

Ashura: Oh geez, now the place is gonna turn into a life-sized version of Battleship...you're not gonna randomly massacre both sides like you did when the Pirates and Ninjas were still at war, are you?

Xaq: Naah. I figure I'll wait until they make complete asses of themselves first, THEN start the carnage.

Ashura: Good. Last time you killed all of 'em before they could even be worth a laugh.

Xaq: Hey, what can I say, I was bored....


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1356
(5/26/02 10:53 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
So it begins.

I've reported this to Th' King Directly. This tis 'is reponse.

CaptainPervy: *He formed the army of Pants*
Arch mage144: >_>
Arch mage144: DESTROY!
CaptainPervy: *AYE AYE!*

::Monarch on the Shore begins to play::

It's time, Maties! Mobilize!

::Ushyu changes into a Cabbit ship::

All NPCS t' their stations! All Officers t' their assigned places! This tisn't a drill! If Their are any last minute recruits, now's th' time fer ye t'speak up!

For the freedom of Pantlessness...

::Boards Ushyu::

We're goin' t' war, maties...

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1355
(5/26/02 11:00 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
*The monarch of No Pants himself begins to scribe a letter on a long piece of parchment...in shocking pink ink*

*The letter is delivered directly to Excal, and reads:*

"Dearest Excal I. Burned,

You and I have been acquainted for some time now, and you know as well as I do that I harbor no personal grudges against you or your agendas. However, I fear that this has come to an end, or at the very least, has been disturbed. Your pro-pants movement has created a rapidly growing ripple in the pond that is our relationship.

You see, all have the right to go without pants, and I support and encourage all people to exercise this right. Your actions are contrary to the very core beliefs of the Kingdom of No Pants, and we--I--deem them highly offensive. This direct insubordination and disrespect will not be tolerated by our regime.

Therefore, I must officially declare open war on your 'Army of Pants,' thusly severing all friendly ties and trade negotiations.

I will only be satisfied when I have your pantless body lying on my torture rack.

Sincerely,

Arch 'The King of No Pants' Mage."




Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

MellyDuckie 
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1021
(5/26/02 11:08 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
Where do I go? Where am I serving?

And what do I do with Daisy?


Despite all of her actions (and whatever her status menu might say), Melanie is NOT a thief. She's a.... uhm... Charlaton-ist! Yeah.
"I like to draw poofy tails because they're poofy and taily!" -Me

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1357
(5/26/02 11:15 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
Don't worry about Daisy!

And yer in the Cabbit Ship, recall? Hop onboard! You'll be th' Comms officer, since yer on a lot

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1358
(5/26/02 11:16 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
...burn her pants and get her a kimono. You'll serve as...

>_>

<_<

So sue me, I'm a benevolent monarch. What do you WANT to do?


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1903
(5/26/02 11:17 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
Excal squinted as he tried to make out the contents of the missive he had just recieved without hurting his eyes any more than necessary. Once he was done he closed it up, and bid one of the Daisys to carry it off to the interrogation room. He then decided to pen a responce.

"To Archmage, King of No-Pants

Sadly, I am quite busy right now prosecuting a war against your navy, so I am unable to take you up on your offer of endless days of unceasing pain and torment. However, if you have the time, I am quite willing to send an escort to your castle in order to bring you here and show you some of my latest acquisitions in my torture chamber.

In regards to my current campaign, I too bring nothing personal to it, seeing it merely as the job of any well-intentioned Warlord. After all, while I am certain you have nothing but the best of intentions, your kingdom seems shockingly familiar to the the Kindom of No-Shoes. It too started off well, but soon after the pure ideals with which it started were tainted. Laws were passed discriminating against the shoes, and things merely became worse until a holy war was proclaimed against the shoed. Given the tragedy of this bloody piece of history, I am merely trying to avoid a repeat of that sad chapter. And so, while I am willing to leave a mere Kingdom of No-Pants alone, I cannot stand idly by while the Non-Pantsed build an armada.

I pray the light of reason shines once again upon thee,

Excal Irius Burned
Commander of the Army of Pants"

"Daisy, send out the order to raise the defences. Ready the magical cannons, man the guns, and raise the barrier around the castle. Also, activate Plans 38D, 46Alpha, and Operation: BOB"

Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Halleluia

MellyDuckie 
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1025
(5/26/02 11:19 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
Okay! Comms officer I am, then!

What do I do?


Despite all of her actions (and whatever her status menu might say), Melanie is NOT a thief. She's a.... uhm... Charlaton-ist! Yeah.
"I like to draw poofy tails because they're poofy and taily!" -Me

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1360
(5/26/02 11:24 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
The Archmage growled softly, crumpling the letter from Excal in his fist. A crafty and wily opponent, he was, and the libel contained in his writing was utterly blatant. How dare that fiend proclaim that he would acquire dictatorial tendencies!? The mere shock of such words chilled the Benevolent Monarch of No Pants to the very core.

"UNCLE PERVY!" he roared at the top of his lungs. "Commence with operations immediately!"


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1905
(5/26/02 11:30 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
At a secret location near the Fleet of No-Pants, a small airship is speeding towards its target.

Daisy Squire: Captain, we're almost over our target. I can see the fleet now.

Daisy Knight: Excellent squire! Troops, prepare the payload for release.

Daisy Chemist: Aye aye, captain!

Daisy Squire: We're over the target!

Daisy Knight: Alright, drop it!

Daisy Chemist: Understood! We have a clean release!

Daisy Knight: Good, now let's get out of here before they retaliate.

Meanwhile, behind them their load of pants fell down onto the Fleet of No-Pants covered with such propaganda quotes as "Pants are your friends." and "Pants: They're what's for dinner"

Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Halleluia

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1359
(5/26/02 11:34 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
::The Navy of No Pants launches as everyone takes their places. The Captured Red Wings, along with the Valuan Destroyers, lift off. They escort the seabased forces, serving as a look-out and a first line of aerial defense.::

Arr... Damned agents o' pant-lovers, tryin' to force us t' think like they do...

Mel, yer job is to keep up with th' communications between th' aeiral navy and th' maritine navy. Ye'll also be watchin' out fer anythin' unusual 'r noteworthy.

BW! Ye're on the Red WIngs Flagship. Ye'll be unleahing yer own brand of hell and destruction on the enmy when the orders come through.

Ki, Yer BW's aide de camp. When he's spellcastin' ye have command o' th'captured Red Wings.

Celeste, TP, yer with the Maritine forces. Ye'll be making sure they stay afloat.

Now! Ignore them pants! They have no power over you!

::Sets Ushyu on a course that takes her into the upper atomsphere::

UP: See that Airship?

Mel:Yeah

UP: Good. Ushyu! Fire!

Ushyu: Meow!

::The Cabbit ship unleashes its laser batteries upon the Pants Airship::

****

::Elsewhere in the world.::

::A Shadowy figure moves through the woods. Reaching the foot of a river, he stops and removes a hip flask from his toga's pocket. Swiftly, he pours the contents into the river, then leaves, while chuckling to himself::

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Edited by: Uncle Pervy at: 5/26/02 11:38:31 pm
Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1283
(5/26/02 11:36 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
*is now wearing 3 pairs of pants*

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1361
(5/26/02 11:38 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
Without warning, a stealthy figure, most likely a ninja, removes all of Banjooie's pants.

...he does not see the figure, except to see a glimpse of a pale, skinny behind and legs darting off into the shadows...


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1284
(5/26/02 11:39 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
*shrugs*
*puts on 5 pairs of pants*
*takes picture*
*puts an anti-ninja seal on it*

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Xaq Shenor
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1163
(5/26/02 11:55 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
*meanwhile, back on the cliff, the two onlookers turn to each other and smirk*

Xaq: I'd say Archmage finally made the move we were looking for.

Ashura: *nods* So, what now?

Xaq: Simple. We wait for them to start blasting at each other rather heavily, and then we simply sit here and take potshots at 'em. With all the firepower they'll be swapping up each other's heads they'll never even notice us.

Ashura: And afterwards we help them come to a truce, invite them all over for drinks, and retire happily, right?

Xaq: Ooooooooh no..."happily" doesn't BEGIN to cover it. *cackles with glee* We'll have died and gone to heaven by closing time.

Ashura: ...Feh, whatever. Been there, seen it, got kicked out by a bunch of snobs who hated my brother.




Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1906
(5/27/02 9:44 am)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
Excal: A pity, it seems we must fight. Very well then, prepare for operation BOB.

Scout: Sir Excal, we've spotted two figures standing on a nearby cliff. We've been watching them a while and they've yet to make a move.

Excal: Hmm, probably nothing, but I'll send some special agents to keep an eye out for interlopers.

Scout: Also, our psionist communication officers have recieved a report from the raider. They came under fire as they were fleeing from the scene of their attack, but they've proven to be faster than the pursuit vessels.

Excal: Well, that is one of our fastest ships. How much damage have they sustained?

Scout: Nothing too substantial, but the Renegade will have to be put into dock for repairs.

Excal: Very well. Oh yes, did they send their maritime fleet too?

Scout: Yes.

Excal: Now isn't that amusing, considering that we're in the middle of the plains and you can't even see so much as a creek from the lookout tower. After all, as the Army of Sanity, our former calling, you have to have your own aquifer to get water from. Never know what sort of hallucinogenics some crazy will drop in your water supply otherwise.

Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Halleluia

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1361
(5/27/02 11:37 am)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
::In low orbit::

UP:Heh heh heh... Has Hawkin's done his work, Mel?

Mel: He just reported in.

UP: Good. That shield can be nigglesome... But I think we can get around it. Got th' charts?

Mel: Just got them from the central agency.

UP: Good. Ushyu, have y' figured out th' proper calculations?

Ushyu: Meow meow!

UP: Excellent. Inform BW it's time to begin operation.

::The Captured Red Wings take position near the river closest to Excal's castle.::

BW: (Wearing a gasmask, speaking into a communicator.) Ready.

::Ushyu's laser batteries open fire. The lasers rain upon the plains near the castle, causing explosions and sending dust into the air that could be witnessed for miles around. When the dust clears, it reveals that a massive trench has been carved into the land.::

::A Loud roar begins to echo off the walls of Excal's castle. His lookouts, having already endured the laser barrage, do not let it unnerve them. They watch in the direction of the noise, ready for whateverthreat approaches.::

::That threat is revealed when waters suddenly race down the trench! Before their eyes, a new river flows through the plain. A river with particularly murky water...::

Daisy #1: Do you smell something?

Daisy #2: Yeah... it smells kinda... alcoholic?

Daisy #1: Wow... The air is changing colors!

Daisy: #2 You know what I like about you?

Daisy #1 I can shee the air!

Daisy #6 Hey! I'll bet you ten bucksh I can leap off thish wall and fly!

Daisy #2 You're on!

::Back at the Cabbit ship.::

UP: Heh heh heh... Ole Hawkin's Liquid Circumcision...Ain't a better river poison known to man 'r beast! Ushyu, take us down t' high atomspheric hover over Excal's castle. Mel, signal the Captured Red Wings to move in! We gotta break through that shield wit' while they're drunk off their arses!

Mel: Done.

UP: Good. Is there a report fromthe Maritime Fleet?

Mel: Yeah. They say the engineers are working ahead of schedule.

UP: Perfect... Ushyu, let's set sail.



Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1908
(5/27/02 12:04 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
Excal sniffs the air about him as a strange odour begins to waft about...

"That bitter scent... Can it be?"

He then looks out of his window and spots the strangely coloured moat his castle had recently obtained. Quickly realising this devious strategem and uttering a quick blessing for the Ribbon he always wore, protecting him from the statu effect Drunk, he took quick and decisive action.

"Aide! Give our entire store of Ribbons to the clerics and have them set about with their spells of Freshly Caffinated Brews! Also, while the Daisys are drunk, send out one of our special units!"

"Sir, you don't mean..." the aide gasped.

"Yes. Release the 'Gears!"

Soon a sound was heard rising from the cloud of dust still hanging around the castle from the laser barrage. It was the sound of many drunken voices raised in rowdy song.

"We are, we are, we are the Engineers!
We can, we can, we can drink forty beers!"

Their voices arose in continued song as they took their positions and unslung their elemental guns. Then, they started sniping away, with some of the more senior members manning the anti-airship artilery.

Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Halleluia

Xaq Shenor
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1169
(5/27/02 12:06 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
Ashura: *snif* *snif* You smell something?

Xaq: *takes a quick wiff* Hmm..1 part Liquid Circumcision, 4 parts water...I'd say someone spiked Excal's water supply.

Ashura: Sneaky.

Xaq: *nods* I'd say this tips the balance of power quite a ways...

Ashura: Not very sporting of them, is it?

Xaq: Nope. Think you can handle it?

Ashura: *hits Excal's castle with a high-level DeTox spell* 3...2...1...

*a large, almost invisible puff of steam emits from the sides of the castle as the LiqCirc in the water and everyone's system is harmlessly dispersed, reforming in a large keg near the edge of a certain cliff*

Xaq: Smooth. *pours himself and his protege a shot of the stuff* Cheers. *glasses clink*

Ashura: *downs shot, smirks* VERY smooth.


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1295
(5/27/02 12:30 pm)
Reply
Re: Sign up for the Navy of No Pants!
*Is now wearing 7 pairs of pants*

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1365
(5/27/02 12:37 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
Meanwhile, the King of No Pants himself recieves a report from his field commander.

"Sire," he announces. "All is going according to plan. The mechanics and engineers are working double-time to insure our success, and Uncle Pervy has effectively intoxicated a large portion of the Daisy army."

"However," he continued, "they seem to be working on recovering, and perhaps may mount a counterattack! What shall we do?"

The monarch shifted in his chair, adjusting his cap, and scratched his leg. "Uncle Pervy has a suggestion regarding the weakness of the Daisy army. I have informed him to go ahead with his plans."

"The Kingdom of No Pants shall triumph in the end," he growled, uneasy as a result of all that had been happening.


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1297
(5/27/02 12:40 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
*Stumbles about, unable to walk properly wearing 11 pairs of pants*
*Gets picture taken*
*hires a plane to drop leaflets of the picture all over the ships of the Navy of No Pants*

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1366
(5/27/02 12:41 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
*has Banjooie assassinated by the Pantless Ninja again*


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1298
(5/27/02 12:45 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
*is wearing an anti-ninja seal*
Muahaha...AAHAHAH...AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1362
(5/27/02 12:56 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
Mel: The King has given us the go ahead for -Operation Guildenstern-.

UP; Aye, relay the orders to BW. Has Hawkin's return to th' Captured Red Wings yet?

Mel: He has.

UP: Good.

::D own at the Captured Red Wings::

BW: (Upon recieing his orders) So they're going to use it... Hey, aren't engineers an FFT class?

Ki: Yeah

BW: Let's try it out on the Engineers first.

::One of the Airships dips down near the ground, within range of the Artillery fire. Then it turns on its loudspeaker::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crimson Blade 1: This, too, be a grimoire's doing?

Crimson Blade 2: By the gods! I'd oft heard o'it ... But this!

Crimson Blade 1: An' a Wyrm -- a DRAGON-- was sighted at the Dukes' manor.

Crimson Blade 2: Well, if there's magick about, dragons won't be far behind...

Crimson Blade 1: I worry about Guildenstern and the others.

Crimson Blade 2: Ach, they'll be fine.

Crimson Blade 1: Think of it! If we've witnessed miracles such as these on Lea Monde's doorstep, what then lies within!?

Crimson Blade 2: ...Ye wear naivete like a crest, brother! Surely the masters know of this "Grimoire." Mayhaps we've just been in the dark, eh?

Crimson Blade 1: Yet our charge is to drub those MŁllenkamp scoundrels an' -- And procure the miracles of Lea Monde!

Crimson Blade 2: Tis just a rumor, but I've heard that Guildenstern's lot works them magicks as well...

Crimson Blade 1: Rubbish! We're servants of the Lord! No true Knight of the Cross would dabble in the black arts!

Crimson Blade 2: It's only a rumor, brother... But if Sydney is truly the worker of diablerie they claim he is, I say fight fire with fire!

Crimson Blade 1: I say let the Lord be our shield!

Crimson Blade 2: Ever the choirboy! The only shield I see is the one coverin' yer eyes. Heretic or no, I believe what I see, and right now ... I see sorcery.

Crimson Blade 1: ...... ...Swine'll take wing 'fore the likes of us use magick, my friend.

Crimson Blade 2: Aye, but with a grimoire, your fattest sow could outfly my swiftest falcon -- if ye believe the chroniclers.

Crimson Blade 1: With a grimoire, you say?

Crimson Blade 2: Ye could even make cobblestones float like clouds...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

::The Engineers fall to the ground, and clutch their ears as they wail out in horror at being exposed to a translation far superior to their native Davaronish. They realization that they speak only a broken tongue, and that far superior translations can and do exist overwhelms their minds. As the piece ends, all are quivering on the ground, paralyzed and doubting their self-worth ::

(Back on Ushyu)

UP: Heh heh heh... They have Mimic Davaron, but we have Mimic Vagrant Story. How's the shield doing?

Mel: We haveit down to 32% power.

UP: Good, it'll break soon. What about the Maritime fleet?

Mel: Things are going smoothly.

UP: Heh heh... Excellent...

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1301
(5/27/02 2:10 pm)
Reply
Re: Muahaha...
*drops a plane-load of pants onto the shield, regenerating it*

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 621
(5/27/02 3:19 pm)
Reply
Fear the power of Bermuda Shorts
Moogle: "Tallpanzer sir, Kupo. The Super Dimensional Battle Fortress Neo-X Mark II is ready to launchupo."

Tall: "Good. Have the Ninja Pirate Janitor Mimes returned from FF7 yet?"

Moogle: "Yupupo, but the Sister Ray is in pieces, Kupo."

Tall: "Very well then. Get the Imp Engineers to fix it up and install it. For now we will fall back onto the "Over Compensating for something" gun batteries Eidolon X installed all those years ago."

Moogle: "Yes sirupo!"

*Loading FVM..........*

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1330
(5/28/02 12:51 pm)
Reply
Re: Fear the power of Bermuda Shorts
Woah. It must take an insanely long time to load that FMV.

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 640
(5/28/02 1:37 pm)
Reply
Don't they all?
Loaded......

*Hundreds of ray traced Moogles hustled to their stations as red lights flashed all around the SDBFN-X MKII. Guns, five times the size of normal cannons, slowly rose up from sliding doors all over the sea fairing flying fortress. Moogle gunners guided the guns into place and took aim at the castle of pants. When they were all locked on the commander moogle raised his left arm. There was a silence in the air for a moment, then the moogle commander's arm came down and all the cannons sent shells whistling through the air. The kick back from the coordinated fire caused the girth of the fortress to rock backward in the water, but the strike hit dead on. Blast after blast hammered the castle's mighty shield. Stray shells left craters nearly 80 meters across. As the smoke cleared the shield flicker in several places and finally wavered out existence. At this sight the moogle troops cheered, ran around high fiveing and belly bouncing each other.*

End FMV.......

*Back in the thrown room of the SDBFN-X MKII.*

Tallpanzer: "Ok Pervy, I opened the door for you. It's up to you to follow through."

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Xaq Shenor
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1186
(5/28/02 2:05 pm)
Reply
Re: Fear the power of Bermuda Shorts
--meanwhile, back on the cliff...

Ashura: You see that?

Xaq: Yeah..Mr. No-Pants has got the upper hand again.

Ashura: Not very fair of him bringing in a fleet of moogles to tip the scales in his favor. What say ya even things out for them a little?

Xaq: ...*shrugs* Why not? Just might be fun...

--FMV--
The halfdragon rises to his feet, his attention focused on the fleet of hijacked Red Wing airships. Stretching an arm out, he channels the energies of the earth, water, and sky around him to the center of his opened palm, converging them into a supercharged sphere of plasma. The air within an approx. 200-yard radius from the slowly-growing sphere begins to ripple as the temperature skyrockets. A final ring of elemental energies ripples into the sphere before it erupts, sending a tremendous blast off into the distance.

A crewman on one of the Red Wings spots the blast, but at that point it's too late...before he even gets a scream out the beam tears through the ship, completely incinerating it on impact. The blast continues on its path towards a second vessel, ripping a hole through it so large that the airship's hull structure gives from the suddenly increased strain, sending the keel plummeting into the ocean and being followed by the rest of the ship moments later. The plasma beam sears by a 3rd airship, setting the entire port side and a few crew members on fire, one being sent overboard by the impending shockwave, before finally arching down and hitting the water, the impact setting off a torrential splash the size of an atomic bomb blast. The burning Red Wing is overcome by a wave of water shot into the air by the blast and sent crashing into the brine..
--/FMV--

Xaq: BULLSEYE! *cackles manically*

Ashura: HOOWAAAAAAA! Now THAT was a thing of beauty, my friend!

Xaq: *bows* Thank you, thank you...applause, autographs, and groupies will be accepted after the show.

Ashura: Of course, NOW they'll be coming after US...

Xaq: You kidding? If they're crazy enough to come after someone with the power to blow 3 of their ships away without breaking much of a sweat and another guy who's even worse, they're nuts. *pours another shot of LiqCirc for himself and Ashura* And now, on with the show. *sits back in recliner*


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1378
(5/28/02 2:41 pm)
Reply
Re: Don't they all?
Arr, well done, TP. Mel, are th' engineers done?

Mel: Yeah.

Good.

::FMV Quickloads::

::The Scene cuts to the maritime fleet. The three Valuan Destroyers hover over the fleet. Celeste of Elvenhame stands on the deck of Pervy's Frigate, the Vengeful Hand. She looks to one of the pirates, and nods. That pirate scurries below decks. There, he runs to a large engine, and throws the start lever.::

::Above Decks, the sails fold away, leaving the masts bare as trees before large propellers spring form fromn them. They begin to spin, slowly at first then more and more quickly, until the ship begins to lift from the waves. The other ships in the fleet begin to undergon the samen process, until the entire Maritime fleet takes to the air. Tireless Pantless Mechanics celebrate as their work is completed.::

::The Maritime Fleet falls behind the Valuan Destroyers, as they set a course for Excal's Castle.::

(Back at the Castle)

UP: Ushyu,put th' shields up t' full, and be ready t' dart away if needed.

Ushyu: Meow!

::The Cabbit ship lowers. UP takes an intercom in hand, and speaks into it, his voice broadcasted to the fortress below::

UP: Now hear this. Tis Uncle Pervy, Grand Admiral o' th' Navy o' No Pants. Yer shield is down, an' yer troops are helpless before our artillery.

But, we're th' Nation o' No Pants; we have no use fer this war. We're a peaceful people; all we wish t' do tis follow our philosophy and live as we desire. We believe it tis our destiny t' go beyond th' constraint o' pants, t' reach beyond their limits and achieve th' next stage o' human; nay, o' every species evolution!

Then ye create an' army designed t' oppress our people! We who have no homeland, we who must live among that which we despise. What have we done besides follow our beliefs?

This is why we mobilized. Not out of hate fe you, but out of fear fer our freedom. We realize that some desire pants, though we don't understand it. We accept this, and follow our own ways as ye follow yers.

Thus, we offer ye a chance t' surrender. Our terms are this. Disband the Army of No Pants. End any repressive laws against the idea of No Pants that you have. Do so, and we shall be satisfied. In fact,I'll be willin' t' help fund any repairs fer th' damage done here as a sign o' good faith.

We have used non-lethal attacks against yer people. There has yet t' be one casaulty among 'em. but if ye do not surrender, we shall cease t' hold back. Ye have 24 hours t' decide."

::As Pervy finishes his speech, a beam of light rips through several of the captured Red Wings.::

UP: Shingus! What was that!?

Mel: Some kind of Magic!

UP: Aye, get TP on it right away!

Mel: I'm telling him now

::As she does, the Maritime fleet arrives and takes position around Excal's castle.::

UP: We're too close t'endin' this t' break off now... TP'll take 'em...

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 642
(5/28/02 2:52 pm)
Reply
Moogles are pantsless citizens to Xaq, you mook
Tallpanzer: "That was dumb of them."

*A void rift opened, Xaq and Ashura found them selves in Tall's Runic thrown room. Long black cables were protruding from Tallpanzer and linking in the very castle. His emperor like presence was enhanced the long gray and silver cape that hung from his over sized ivory colored shoulder pads.*

Tallpanzer: "The council is displeased."

*Out from under his cape Tall's hands flew. Two arcs of black lightening channeled from them, slamming Xaq and Ashura to the wall with no trouble. Like the lash of a whip he drew them back into this hands and smacked their heads together. A gesture of his hand rammed the two back into wall. A green glow flared in Tallpanzer's eyes.*

Tallpanzer: "I will show you what a real void mage can do."

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1337
(5/28/02 2:58 pm)
Reply
Re: Moogles are pantsless citizens to Xaq, you mook
*wanders by*
*uses PSI OLDFF3.COM STORY OMEGA
*wanders off*

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Edited by: Banjooie at: 5/28/02 3:01:59 pm
Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1910
(5/28/02 4:05 pm)
Reply
Re: Moogles are pantsless citizens to Xaq, you mook
Excal was annoyed. It was not because of the attacks being made by the Navy of No Pants. Most of his troops had already been cured of their alcoholic status, and the SRD (Service Rum, Diluted, off course) had been passed out among the 'geers putting them in a state of blissful euphoria whereupon they didn't give a damn about being badly translated (given the things they were saying, the bad translation was probably making them easier to understand by this point, though it made no real impact on their aim). And, Excal always made sure that he had a backup barrier. No, he was annoyed because he had little net time of late, and things were happening faster than he was able to deal with them. However, he at least had this bit of time with which to react. And so, walking onto the highest rampart and casting an amplification spell on his voice so that he may be heard, Excal pregan his counter speech.

"Admiral, if you do not desire war, then why is it that you have attacked me when I had not even yet had a chance to mobilise? If freedom is all you truly desire, then why do you form such a fleet when there were none who imposed pants upon you?

"While I do not doubt the virtues which you proclaim unto me, can you assure me that those who shall follow in your footsteps will feel the same, and that all of those under you are the same? Proclaiming such a belief which opposes another group is a dangerous cause to hold dear, and often ends in tragedy. Especially when the other group is likely not to take any action to defend itself.

"Now, Admiral, I say unto you. If you truly believe in peace, then leave now before I show you my true strength. I have not yet acted, and merely took this action that there might be balance among the continuum of pantedness. And so, show me your virtues which you so proudly declair and help reform the peace which you so violently rent asunder!"

With that, Excal signaled for the Leviathan System to be activated, forming a nigh unbreakable barrier formed by ancient magicks formed by the bond between the Ruler and the Ruled, making the castle nigh untakable so long as the covenant is strong, and waited for his responce.

Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Halleluia

Bob the Cat
Spam Monger
Posts: 1819
(5/28/02 4:22 pm)
Reply
!!!
STOP THIS MADNESS!

You little hoochies! Do not fight now!

Enough follies! Continue this way of living and you'll destroy yourselves? It is very wrong, for sure! Stop or you'll be injured bad!

Today --
It matters that you're here.
It's going to make a difference.
Today--
there's hope.
You're not too late.

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1380
(5/28/02 4:41 pm)
Reply
Re: Moogles are pantsless citizens to Xaq, you mook
::Pervy Runs his fingers though his beard. Finally, as Excal finishes, he takes up the intercom to reply::

"Ye'd arm yourself against a flotilla? Excal matey, ye seem t' have misintrepreted us.

We of No Pants're a people without a nation. We created th' Navy t' be our nation! We intended t' roam th' seas like the pirates o' my day, offering a haven fer the pantless who don't wanna live among ye pant-wearin' folks.

Then, as we weere onthe crux o' our dream o' achieve a nation fer the Pantless; ye have t' form an army t' oppose us! How were we t' respond? We've lived wit' ye and accepted yer tyranny and yer dress code since th' beginning o' civilization! Then as we were about t' break free; ye form a force t' oppose us!

No more! We o' no Pants will not accept this tyranny anymore! If we'ren t' be purged, then we'll go down fighting! Ye'll not trample us anymore! Disband yer Army of Pants, and all'll be well. Ye can keep yer old national forces, but the Army of P{ants will be disbanded or it'll be destroyed!

We've lived wit' pant-wearin' tyranny long enough! We'll
accept it no longer! Equality 'r Death!

::Raises his fist into the air::

SEIG NO-PANTS!

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1345
(5/28/02 4:55 pm)
Reply
Re: Moogles are pantsless citizens to Xaq, you mook
People..people...people...
Just wear skirts!

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Xaq Shenor
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1189
(5/28/02 5:48 pm)
Reply
Apparently the concept of 'third party' needs explaining.
*the halfdragon looks right into TP's eyes without the slightest shred of fear*

Xaq: What, you think we're on Excal's side or something? Please...you're solely responsible for what happened to the Red Wings, ya moron. You tipped the scales in Pervy's favor...I simply balanced them back out. If you'd sided with Excal I'd have blasted HIS forces instead.

Ashura: We ain't taking sides here...we're just making sure there's no clear-cut victor in this idiotic squabble.

Xaq: The idea's simple...we leave them in a stalemate until they realize how stupid what they're fighting over is and call a truce. Now if you'll excuse us...we've got a war to end.

*at that moment Xaq metamorphs into his demonic form*

Xuroox(aforementioned archdemon): You and your Council can kiss my ass for all I care.

*TP's entire body is overcome with a burning pain as his void magic is slowly syphoned from him. A moment later Ashura vanished, being sent back to the cliff*

Oh, and don't bother trying that again...Xaq might not be much compared to your void magic, but to me, your trifle abilities mean nothing, aside from being pathetically easy to use for my own purposes...besides, it'd be a pity if you forced me to do anything to your precious moogles... *drains TP's power again right before returning himself to the cliffside*

Xaq: *reverts to normal* Nimrods...

Ashura: And to think, in the TDW storyline you and I were trying to KILL that demon of yours...

Xaq: Ehh, what can I say...he comes in handy when someone with a universe-sized ego needs some air let out. I'd say a good night's rest and TP should be back to normal...if he cares anything about those moogles or his own life, though, he won't try THAT again.

Ashura: *nods, downs another shot of LiqCirc*


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1352
(5/28/02 6:00 pm)
Reply
Re: Apparently the concept of 'third party' needs explaining
*Walks up behind Xaq*
*tapes a tape recorder full of ff3.com stories to his back*
*presses play and runs like spoon*

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 643
(5/28/02 6:49 pm)
Reply
Not another Weakling form swicher
*Tallpanzer stood in front of Xaq and Ashura smirking. As he hovered in the air smirk turned to a scowl.*

Tallpanzer: "You can't drain my power you fool. I'm not a being you can comprehend. Demons are weak creatures. It's more than pathetic to think could kill an Immortal." *He lifted his right hand.* "VOID FLAIR!"

*Xaq was hit directly by the expelled void energy. The Half Dragon's limp, broken and chard body flew through the air for 60 meters, then crashed leaving a crater that could been seen from space.*

Tallpanzer: "I belong to the Navy of no pants. You are interfering in OUR war. This was a small demonstration of what I can easily do to you. You are no match for Eternals. Remember that before you think of seeking retribution."

*With that Tall Void walked back to the SDBFN-X MKII and waited.*

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Edited by: TALLPANZER at: 5/28/02 6:52:57 pm
Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1359
(5/28/02 6:58 pm)
Reply
Re: Not another Weakling form swicher
*thinks*
*takes the tape recorder off*
*tapes it back on TP's back just where he can't reach it*
*runs faster than before*

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Xaq Shenor
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1195
(5/28/02 7:15 pm)
Reply
Re: Not another Weakling form swicher
--TRAIN OF THOUGHT--
Xaq: Okay, time to consider the sides here...on one hand we've got an alleged immortal with access to void magic...on the other we have an immortal archdemon with a good deal of void magic, the ability to instantly sever even a god's lifeforce, and who's been around longer than even the Eternals...
--/TRAIN OF THOUGHT--
--FASTFORWARD--
*Xuroox and TP fight*
*Xuroox wins by narrow margin after assist from Council*
*takes off, leaving TP and the Council alive to think about their 'mistake'*
--/FASTFORWARD--

Ashura: ...You hear something?

Xaq: *turns around, spots Banjo's tape recorder* Man...someone's just plain being SICK.

Ashura: *brings sword down on tape player* Problem solved.

Xaq: *phew* Daaamn...and I thought those ETERNALS were bad..

Ashura: Hopefully they'll know better than to mess with us now, though.

Xaq: That's what I left them alive for. I figure they deserve a chance to learn from their mistakes.

Ashura: And if they don't?

Xaq: Need you even ask? *winks*


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1362
(5/28/02 7:20 pm)
Reply
Re: Not another Weakling form swicher
CURSE YOU XAQ! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!! ~lelelelelele!

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 644
(5/28/02 8:17 pm)
Reply
Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
*Tallpanzer gets up without so much as a scratch.*

Tallpanzer(Points at Xaq) : "Hahahahahahahaha. Sorry little boy, but the fact is archdemons are weak. True immortally is beyond your grasp."

*Before Xaq can exhale Tallpanzer decks him with such force everyone can hear his jaw snap. Just Xaq starts to real back, Tall's elbow smashes into his spine, shattering it.*

Tallpanzer: "Your other form is just as much of a weakling as this one. I was beating you so badly you stared hallucinating that the council had come to help me."

*Tall's hand shoot up and dragged Xaq over his shoulder crashing his head into the ground.*

Tallpanzer: "To bad the fact is even at my weakest I'm still ten times as powerful as the greatest archdemon."

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Xaq Shenor
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1202
(5/28/02 8:52 pm)
Reply
Re: Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
*a finger taps TallPanzer's shoulder*
*TP falls over dead while turning to see who did it*

Xaq: *reverts to normal form* You were saying?

Ashura: *after Xaq gets back from the bottom of the cliff* What the hell was he AIMING at, anyway?

Xaq: I dunno, but if he was delusional enough to think the BOTTOM of a cliff is the TOP of it, I wouldn't be surprised if he thought he was attacking me. I must've drained some of his coherence earlier as well as his void magic.

Ashura: Ahh. So you went ahead and--

Xaq: Yep. If you want the next shot, I'll leave the moogles to YOUR mercy. The Council of Eternals, though, are mine. *goes demonic, whips scythe out, and vanishes*

Ashura: *shrugs, downs another shot of LiqCirc* Heh, fortunately for them mercy's one of my stronger suits. *counts how many LC shots he's had* Fortunately for my liver, so's metabolism.

(OOC: TP, you can keep this up for all eternity if ya want, but the fact of the matter is I'm not paying any more attention...the instant Excal gains the upper hand on you and Pervy, my aim's going to switch over to him whether you're still trying to get on my back or not.)


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 645
(5/28/02 9:38 pm)
Reply
Re: Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
*Tallpanzer Pulls Xaq out of the ground by one leg.*

Tallpanzer: "What is this weakling bableling about now?"

*He then shook the blearily conscious Half Dragon.*

Tallpanzer: "Like I care."

*He tossed Xaq aside like rag doll. The Tall glared at Ashura. Instead of striking him Tall yanked him onto his clenched fist and tossed him away just as easily.*

Tallpanzer: "I think I'll move these two to the area between dimensions."

*Xaq and Ashura were shifted to a place filled with nothing but white.*

Tallpanzer: "Almost as annoying as that dammed Ctulhu guy."

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

MellyDuckie 
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1122
(5/28/02 10:29 pm)
Reply
Re: Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
An intercom buzzed with static near TP's ear. Mel's voice called through it, "What the HELL are you DOING, Tall?! We might need your moogles, damnit!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UP: "D'arr... I gotta stop TP and that Demon a'fore things go to far.. Mel! I'm puttin' ye in command o' th' Ship while I try t' deal wit' this. Ushyu, listen to Mel, got it?"

Ushyu: Meow!

Mel: I sent a message to TP a minute ago.

UP: Ushyu! Teleport me t' th' Red wings flagship, quickly!

The captain disappears and MellyDuckie stands up from her Comms desk. She steps over and sits in the captain's chair.

Mel: Umm... what do I do?

Ushyu: Meow.. meow!

MellyDuckie glances around and sees the Castle of the Pants army on a moniter.

Mel: I see now.


Despite all of her actions (and whatever her status menu might say), Melanie is NOT a thief. She's a.... uhm... Charlaton-ist! Yeah.
"I like to draw poofy tails because they're poofy and taily!" -Me

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1388
(5/28/02 10:50 pm)
Reply
Re: Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
OOC: I gave Mel permission to do that, just so ye all know

IC: ::The Grand Admiral of the Navy of No Pants appears on the deck of the larger of the two Red Wings vessels::

BrainWalker: Sir! ::Salutes::

UP: Ready the personal airship. I've gotta go talk wit' them demons.

BW: ...They'll likely kill you

UP: They gotta have some sense talked int' them. I'll not be losin' my fleet. Not like this...

****

::A small airship disembarks from the inner bay of the Captured Red Wing. (Think Black Waltz #3's Airship) Quickly, it speeds toward the embankment where Xaq and Ashura fought with Tallpanzer.::

::The Clash of powers here has warped the very fabric of reality, sometimes allowing multiple timestreams to manifest at once. Luckily, Pervy manages to escape this fact as he lands on the empty embankment.
Though Xaq, Ashura, and TP left,he is certain that they can still hear him as he speaks::

"Okay, I know yer out here, and I know yer th' ones who shot down those ships; and who cleansed th' river.

I wanna know why. Why're ye interfering wit' this? What'd ye have t' gain? Why're ye oppressin' my people? Do ye fear th' ways o' No Pants?

This's our war. Excal formed an army specifically fer th' purpose o' opposin' us as we tried to establish our own nation, a have for the ways of No Pants. We aren't gonna let ourselves be oppressed anymore! Not by Excal... and not by you!

If ye wanna destroy us, do it! We're not gonna submit, ne'er again! We shall live openly in the ways o' No Pants, free o' oppression, or we won't live at all! We'll repsect the ways of the panted, though we don't understand; but they aren't gonna repress us anymore! We're makin' a stand!

If ye don't oppose us, this isn't yer war. Leave us in peace, an' let make our own way. And if this is yer war... yer gonna hafta go through me t' get to my Navy again! I might stand a snowball's chance in hell against ye, but dammit it's my will t' be free! And if I hafta freely choose to die in defense of my ways, so be it! Seig No-Pants!"

::Pervy then waits atop the embankment, waiting for a response with his arms crossed and his cutlass sheathed. Although he tries hard not to show it, signs of fear creep through his proud demeanor.::


Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1365
(5/28/02 10:53 pm)
Reply
Re: Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
I refuse to not wear pants on the grounds that I like pockets.
And quite frankly, I don't want to be on an airship or sea ship. I get motion sick.
Therefore....
*Takes an extra copy of the ff3.com tape*
*Hacks into the radios of the No Pants league*
*Plays it at top volume on all of the loudspeakers*

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

MellyDuckie 
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1125
(5/28/02 11:12 pm)
Reply
Re: Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
A intercom buzzed into life near Banjooie's ear. It spoke, "Robes have pockets."


Despite all of her actions (and whatever her status menu might say), Melanie is NOT a thief. She's a.... uhm... Charlaton-ist! Yeah.
"I like to draw poofy tails because they're poofy and taily!" -Me

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1369
(5/28/02 11:50 pm)
Reply
Re: Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
The radios in the ships stopped playing FF3.com stories.
"Robe pockets are unreliable. Jeans have copper rivets!"
And the stories continued once more.

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

MellyDuckie 
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1129
(5/28/02 11:59 pm)
Reply
Re: Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
"... and?"


Despite all of her actions (and whatever her status menu might say), Melanie is NOT a thief. She's a.... uhm... Charlaton-ist! Yeah.
"I like to draw poofy tails because they're poofy and taily!" -Me

Xaq Shenor
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1208
(5/29/02 1:57 am)
Reply
Re: Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
Ashura: And you can't say no to copper rivets, DUH young lady..

Xaq: *glances over at the angel, confused* Who the hell are you talking to?

Ashura: Sorry, just listening in on a conversation some of Los Pantalones Nadas were having via the thread on the ADV! board. *points at screen of laptop*

Xaq: Oh.


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1912
(5/29/02 5:59 am)
Reply
Re: Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
Excal shook his head in bewilderment as, yet again, his foes failed to grasp his point, completely and utterly. His army simply exsisted in order to give Pants some organisational support and military backup in what seemed to be a rather one sided war. After all, most of the pantsed people of the world didn't realise that those not wearing pants felt any sort of special contemp laid down upon them. Especially since, so far as Excal could tell, none exsisted. Besides, Excal had always found pants to be comfortable and quite efficient at their purpose with the sole exception of that awful mistake of taking Halifax up on that drinking contest, but Excal had safely purged THAT memory from his conscious mind.

Really, he had no real desire to fight or to oppress those who chose not to wear pants. He just wanted to represent those who enjoyed wearing pants as he found the local voiced opinion concerning them to be horribly skewed against, as was once the case with sanity when he had originally founded his army. Sadly, unlike insanity, which was either self-confident or just didn't give a damn, the forces of No Pants felt threatened by the mere presence of an opposing voice. And so, because of their insecurity, they would have to fight.

"Aide, send out the order. Fighting is now inevitable, prepare the artillery and fleet for battle. Also prep the windriders and raiders. This is going to be an ugly affair, and we have to be ready for down and dirty fighting."

It's a river overflowing with fish...... I think.

PriamNevhausten
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1443
(5/29/02 9:02 am)
Reply
Re: Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
Oh my god, they've poisoned the river...with fish?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

--Priam

This is a signature virus. Please put this in your signature.

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1398
(5/29/02 9:46 am)
Reply
Re: Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
Looking back toward Excal's fortress, Uncle Pervy swears.

"Damned prejudiced pants-lovin' bastard's gonna keep goin'. Things're goin' on over there. Damn, I hate havin' t' leave the fleet behind!"

The white mage turned pirate the returns his attention back to the embankment, awaiting on the two who would harm his navy, his people, in something that doesn't concern them.

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1384
(5/29/02 10:59 am)
Reply
Re: Well that post was about equal to Excal Dies.
Banjooie walked around, and noticed Uncle Pervy. He walked over.
"Um...nothing personal, but I'd feel really off without pants and if getting rid of you means I can wear pants freely, I think that's a good thing."

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 649
(5/29/02 11:59 am)
Reply
WOOTAGE FOR HAMMER SPACE!
*Anvil lands on Banjooie, crushing him into his shoes.*

Tallpanzer: "Captain the 'Sister Ray' is fully rebuilt and ready to fire. Also my salvage crews have recovered the pieces of the destroyed red wing ships. The Imps are sure they can rebuild one. I'm having it refitted to be the delivery system for *dramatic pause.* project-F."

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1400
(5/29/02 12:46 pm)
Reply
Re: WOOTAGE FOR HAMMER SPACE!
Understood, TP. Make it so, but Project F will not be unleashed without my orders. We do NOT want to use it unless left with no choice....

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

MellyDuckie 
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1134
(5/29/02 5:15 pm)
Reply
Re: WOOTAGE FOR HAMMER SPACE!
"I'm ready to let the word out at your command, sir."

"Meow!!"


Despite all of her actions (and whatever her status menu might say), Melanie is NOT a thief. She's a.... uhm... Charlaton-ist! Yeah.
"I like to draw poofy tails because they're poofy and taily!" -Me

Xaq Shenor
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1216
(5/29/02 5:31 pm)
Reply
Re: WOOTAGE FOR HAMMER SPACE!
--REWIND--
*back on the cliff*
Ashura: *checking laptop* Hmm...looks like we won't be taking any potshots at the Army of Pants any time soon.

Xaq: How come? Excal get the idea that this whole war's a waste of time or something?

Ashura: Exactly.

Xaq: ...Hmm. Well, now all that we need to do is get Pervy to realize that..

Ashura: That seems to be Excal's aim as well. Perhaps we should pay him a visit...
--/REWIND--


*A familiar voice speaks from behind Excal*

Ashura: Well, at least one of you realizes how pointless this silly little war is...

Excal: Who the....oh, it's our smart-ass cliffdwellers.

Ashura: *smirks* Don't get us wrong, we aren't here to attack you...originally we'd just planned to leave the both armies in a deadlock until you and Pervy came to realize how stupid this whole ordeal was. Now all we need to do is get the idea into the white mage's head.

Xaq: Since it seems you had the same goal, we'd like to offer you our assistance in bringing this squabble to a quick and peaceful end. How's that sound?


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1913
(5/30/02 3:16 pm)
Reply
Re: WOOTAGE FOR HAMMER SPACE!
Excal pondered their ofer for a bit. After all, he didn't really want to mess up a chance for some aid. Then again, he already had his own plans fairly well sketched in, not that they weren't already complementing them nicely.

"Well, my entire strategy has mainly been to do my utmost defensively with the occasional well aimed counter-strike. Really, just be a giant pain in the rear until they decide I'm not worth the bother, or they fall apart from lack of supplies. After all, my defences here are based around the premise that those assaulting the place hold little stock in such ideas as self-preservation."

"And the pantless need to live to enjoy pantlessness. It works." one of the two, Excal couldn't really tell which, said.

"Well, given the rhetoric they've been spouting, I'm not entirely sure they agree... But, it's still worth a shot. As it is, you guys are helping me out just fine the way things have been going. Just distract their more powerful folks for me and the fleet itself will be nothing. After all, everyone knows that the average grunt is useless in full out war." Excal paused for a bit here, then continued. "Oh yeah, I'd really appreciate it if you'd keep TallPanzer distracted for a bit longer. I've got a special strike team dealing with his behemoth as we speak."

It's a river overflowing with fish...... I think.

Bob the Cat
Spam Monger
Posts: 1833
(5/31/02 12:49 am)
Reply
>_>
*sneaks up behind Excal and wedgies him, then runs like there's no tommorrow*


Bob: RANDOM WEDGIE! ^_^

Today --
It matters that you're here.
It's going to make a difference.
Today--
there's hope.
You're not too late.

Edited by: Bob the Cat at: 5/31/02 12:50:43 am
TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 652
(5/31/02 12:37 pm)
Reply
Yet another reason to not wear pants
Tallpanzer: "All right! This time we take out his shield for good. Load the 'Sister Ray'!"

*Loading FMV.....*
*Still loading*
*Please wait*
*Loaded*

*Air raid sirens blare and warning lights flash as Moogles run about. The courtyard floor opened allowing the Sister Ray to rise up from the bowels of the floating fortress. Blast doors slammed down and locked into place. The inner and outer gates opened allowing the great cannon to expand to it's full size. Ten huge tubes glowing with power had been connected into the ammo feed of the legendary weapon. Within the caverns under the castle Moogles were tossing boxes of copy right lawsuits, pants, pants propaganda and herding zombie lawyers into a 100% efficient fieriness that is supplying power to the tubes. The roof of the center tower opened and Tallpanzer's thrown room lifted up to replace it. Tall stood up and the wind blew his cape open revealing the cables hooked to his body were drawing a white energy from his body. He raised a hand to his shoulder and the Sister Ray moved to fire ready mode. Tallpanzer swung his arm outward and great cannon fired, it's forward barrel sliding back nearly all the way back into the inner court yard. A white shield of energy held to fortress sound as the water was ripped away by the force of the shell sailing through the air. It's wave of force tore the ground asunder until it collided with Excal's shield. The shield sloshed backward and just as it seemed it was about to snap back into position, it shattered like glass. The SDBFN-X MKII stood silent as the water rolled back into place around it.*

*End FMV*

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1451
(5/31/02 12:59 pm)
Reply
Re: Yet another reason to not wear pants
::A Comms device is Pervy's Ear Buzzs::

Mel: The shield's down again. Should we hit them while we have the chance?

UP: Nay. Stand down fer now. I told th' shingus he has 24 hours an' I mean it. I'll not be takin' th' first strike until that time is up. But he knows we can take down his shields. And we can get around 'em when we need t'.

Just be ready fer anything. So long as we have -Operation Guildenstern-, most've Excal's force's useless. I ain't got no desire t' hurt 'im lessen he keeps it up. He still has his day t' disband th' army.

Like I said, just keep yer eyes peeled fer a counter-attack.

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1917
(5/31/02 4:57 pm)
Reply
Re: Yet another reason to not wear pants
Excal: Hmm, guess noone bothered to mention that the nature of the Leviathan System renders it immune to Mako Based weaponry such as the Sister Ray. After all, a weapon that shoots lifeforce energy can't do squat against a barrier made of one of the purest of forces of life.

Daisy: Umm, we still need to do something about their fleet, sir.

Excal: True. What's the latest report from the special team?

Daisy: They've reported to have gotten near the engine room and are readying to utilise the special material.

Excal: Excellent. Send our aerial fleet out to counter the Fleet of No Pants. Uncover the Vane Class magic artillery piece and prepare to fire it, and, have someone teleport this letter to our earstwhile friend the admiral.

Daisy: What does the letter say.

Excal: Oh, it simply says that while his recitals sound rather nice to me, you lot are wondering why they're using such horrific grammer, and using such obvious mispronunciations as breath and moogle when the obvious wording is bracelet and mogri.

Daisy: You're acting almost as though they're right... Please tell me their propaganda isn't getting through to you sir!

Excal: Have no fear. I'm just fine, but be sure to drop that letter off by the mage's room.

Daisy: I shall sir.

It's a river overflowing with fish...... I think.

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 657
(5/31/02 6:23 pm)
Reply
No Engine room = No problem
Tallpanzer: "Good thing we use chaos energy to fire the Sister Ray, Life energy is to costly."

Moogle: "Sir they seem to have magic artillery set up."

Tallpanzer: "Don't worry, I'm ready for it."

Moogle: "If you say so sir."

Tallpanzer: "Hope the rest of the fleet can dodge. How is project-F coming?"

Moogle: "Ready to launch sir."

Tallpanzer: "Well keep it ready. I still hope we don't have to use it."

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1377
(5/31/02 8:31 pm)
Reply
A call for action...
After much deliberation, he had decided it had to happen. It had been advised that something be done--that the King of No Pants himself would be required to make some efforts, or the war itself would go on endlessly, pantless against panted, trouserless vs. trouser-equipped, generally socially rejected battling with generally socially accepted. It was a struggle that would never end, unless something were done.

Thusly, the King himself relaxed in his comfortable armchair, fiddled with the remote control, and adjusted the heat and massage settings until they were to his preference. Reaching into his drawer and extracting a piece of parchment, he began to pen a letter to the head of the Panted forces, Excal Irius Burned.

"Dear Excal I. Burned,

We of the Kingdom of No Pants request that you please recognize our desire for pantless freedom immediately, with our guarantee that pantless freedom will not, with time, evolve into pantless tyranny. It is contrary to the very ideals upon which the Kingdom of No Pants was established to exercise and wield such power over people as a bludgeon. No, instead, I, and in fact we, have an eternal and unwavering conviction, and that belief is that the will of the people should be obeyed at all times, regardless of the wishes of those without their pant-oriented garments.

It is not the desire of the Kingdom of No Pants to rule with an oppressive and iron grip, much like that of a pair of badly starched pants, and it is instead worthwhile to note that the it is largely felt that being forced to wear pants violates freedom of choice at its quintessence. Please reconsider this foolish war, and we too shall withdraw our troops. No more harm shall be done to either side, if only you recognize the freedom of pants as a true and God-given right to all.

However, I must note, that should you refuse to be reasonable and understanding, the hills shall quake and the crowds will rise, all united under one cry.

'Let me run pantless or let me lie dead.'

Sincerely,

Arch "The King of No Pants" Mage."


Archmage Kirby:
Powers HAL Labs wishes they'd thought up first.
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1922
(6/2/02 1:47 am)
Reply
Re: A call for action...
Excal felt like bursting into laughter as he read the latest missive from the King of No Pants. Managing to contain the, somewhat, undiplomatic gesture, Excal set about writing his own missive.

"Your Highness,

As of this writing, my grievous offensive actions which you have so righteously declaimed stand at, a single bombing run on a fleet which was declaired at war against me whereupon I dropped a load of pant upon them. While I can understand why that may be upsetting to you, you must admit that little to no damage was done as a result of that. Aside from that, all of my actions in this confligration have been defensive, and almost no damage has been inflited as a result of any of my troops.

And, while I wouldn't mind being able to reconsider my part in this war. Given my lack of opportunity for any offensive action period, I have yet to have any choice about whether or not to participate in this war, that choice having been made quite decisively for me by the fleet currently laying siege to my castle.

Archmage, this army of mine exsists for the sole purpose of maintaining the balance for it is when the balance is askew that calamities arise. You form your fleet and changed the balance between the pantsed and the non-pantsed. I merely remedied that. You then demanded that I back off from my position without my even having the opportunity to make a rude face at you.

So, in closing. I have had no part in this conflict other than not wanting to be overrun, and I cannot withdraw my troops in a show of good faith as they are currently at their home base."

It's a river overflowing with fish...... I think.

Xaq Shenor
Scroll of Summon City Bus
Posts: 1247
(6/2/02 2:34 am)
Reply
Re: A call for action...
Ashura: Bugger the void mage, huh? *smirks*

Xaq: Easier done than said.

*with that the duo darted towards the ceiling, vanishing a moment before what would have been colliding with it*

*in the air above Excal's fortress*

Xaq: Your turn, Ashura.

Ashura: *glances towards the remaining airships* Those things are SUCH an eyesore....

--FMV--
The angel extended a hand outward, fingers stretched in the direction of the stolen Red Wings, then swiftly swung his arm back. At that moment a bright flash of light flashed in front of him as a blueish-white bolt of energy shot forward at tremendous speed. It struck one ship and splintered off, striking two more...which no noticable effect.
Not to an outside viewer, anyway. Inside the crews of each ship went into a panic as every piece of machinery, electronics, and magic on the ship came to an abrupt halt. The Red Wing occupants quickly found themselves apparently weightless as the three vessels dropped out of the sky simultaneously, hitting the water below with a tremendous splash.
--/FMV--

Ashura: Not as destructive as your method, but it gets them out of the way if nothing else.

Xaq: You always were the bleeding heart..

Ashura: *grins*


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1485
(6/2/02 3:11 am)
Reply
Re: A call for action...
Pervy gritted his teeth as his ships fell from the sky.

"Wretched bloody celestial!" He cries, "What business do ye have here!?

"Why'd ye hide like cowards from me? Why don't ye come down here and explain what th' bloody hell this has t' do wit' ye! What'sth'matter, afraid t' justify yerself before the ones ye wronged? Afraid t' admit yer bloody prejudices?

"Yer bloody well worse than Excal! At least 'e makes the appearance o' reason! At least e's willin' t' stop an' think 'bout what he does! What about ye, ya bloody high an' mighty bastards? Do ye even think o' what yer actions'll do? Are ye afraid t' stop an' consider yer fightin' fer th' forces o' oppression?

"Or are ye th' oppressors? Are ye also afraid o'th' truth o' No Pants? Are ye th' agents o' those who bind themselves, and can't deal wit' the fact that people don't think like 'em?

"Whatever ye are, yer bloody cowards! Why don't ye bloody well reveal yerselves? Ye afriad ye might be worng? Ye afraid that the ones yer oppressing might be right? Ort do ye think yer above mortals ''cause ye have bloody wings? Well come down here and prove it! 'cause if hurt another one o' my people, or our ships, ain't no force on heaven or earth gonna stop me from gettin' at ye!

"Yer interference ain't wanted! Ye ain't got no right t' be meddling in that don't concern ye! And if ye thing different, come down here an' say it t' me!"

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

The Fanboy
Mage
Posts: 86
(6/2/02 12:03 pm)
Reply
Re: A call for action...
Can I point something out...?

I think it's ironic that some of your ships are stuck in the water, while others have never been in the water(The Valuan Destroyers)

Also, you should use Spectre class ships, not Mage Destroyers. Spectre class are the mass produced version of the Delphinus, and can actually be a match for it early on.

Yes, I'm pitiful.

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1455
(6/2/02 12:43 pm)
Reply
Re: A call for action...
Banjooie heard the loudspeaker, and walked down to where Pervy was.
"Um, but if you win, I'd have to take off my pants. I like my pants."

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 660
(6/2/02 3:01 pm)
Reply
Chop suie
Tallpanzer: "Time to stop the foolishness."

*Tall raised his hand and the destroyed redwing ships began to reconstructed them selves. The crews were all revived with the power of a life 4 spell. The rebuilt redwings took to the air, this time with a little surprise incase the two interlopers tried that again.*

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Xaq Shenor
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1253
(6/2/02 3:42 pm)
Reply
Re: Chop suie
*still in the air above Excal's fortress*

Ashura: Hmmm...first time I've ever seen a ship un-wreck itself..

Xaq: Gotta be Panzer. Probably just did that to spite me...oh well.

Ashura: Hold on a sec...

Xaq: *midway through preparing another plasma blast, which simply fizzles* Huh?

Ashura: He wouldn't rebuild 'em just to have us blow them away again...

Xaq: Hmmmmm......any ideas?

Ashura: *nods* We'll simply aid Mother Nature in taking care of things for us. *leans over and whispers aforementioned idea*

--FADE TO BLACK--

--FMV--
The angel darts off into the sky, circling around in a gigantic clockwise loop at an incredible enough velocity to put the clouds within his cycle into a slowly increasing spin.
At the same time, the halfdragon, hovering just above the water's surface, finishes preparing another of the blasts that took the first 3 Red Wings out, aiming it straight up, but not firing it. As it looms there, mere feet above the surface, the water and air temperatures begin to rise, the warm air beginning to swirl along with the clouds.
Soon the skies darken as the amassing clouds gather into a quickly intensifying storm. The swirling motion picks up even more speed, creating an enormous, rotating storm cell. The winds blow with such intensity that large pieces of untied debris begin to fly off the decks of the ships, while the Red Wings and even the Valuan destroyers find their courses being unwantedly altered. All the while the storm continues to grow in intensity as the halfdragon finally disperses the plasmabolt into the air, fueling the storm even more..
--/FMV--

*back above Excal's fort, just at the edge of the eye of the newly-formed F5 hurricane*

Xaq: Pretty damn clever, I gotta admit..

Ashura: Heh, well, when magic and technology are at a dead heat, sometimes you just have to leave it to nature to do the dirty work..those airships should have a pretty difficult time doing anything useful in THESE conditions.

Xaq: Provided they don't get blown away by any lightning strikes or waterspouts or anything..


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1486
(6/2/02 6:11 pm)
Reply
Re: Chop suie
Pervy had witnessed enough. He no longer cared who was responsible for the damage being caused, nor how powerful they were. All he knew was that they were hellbent on destroying and repressing the ways of No Pants, and that they weren't going to do it anymore unless it was over his dead body.

After taking a quick hit from Flaskie, the white mage turned pirate dashes back to his personal airship and leaps into the driver's seat. He takes just enough time to weave a Wall Spell over the ship and himself before revving the engine into high gear and taking off.

Reading the winds of the hurricane as best he can, the pirate fliesn headlong into the swirling storm. Immediately, the currents tear him off course, flinging the tiny ship like a leaf. Gritting his teeth, Pervy turns it to move with the wind, angling the ships' prow inward toward the eye.

Another current of wind soon snatches the airtship up again. Pervy turns it once more to ride with the gale, and continues onward. A bolt of lighting lashes out at him, and is deflected by the Wall Spell.

Slowly, but surely, the pirate is able to use his years of experience out at sea to read the winds of the hurricane. Though debris tears at his ship, Pervy is able to dodge the worst of it. Then, suddenly, the storm gives away to clear blue skies as the personal airship rockets full throttle from the storm.

Instantly, Pervy spots the figure ofthe angeland the half-dragon, and angles toward them. As he nears them, he eases back on the throttle. The Two hover there, unmoving, watching as he approaches. Almost gently, the personal airship glides beside them, then hovers.

Leaping from his seat, the Pirate focuses his glare on both of them. For a moment, he wavers at the force of their return gazes, but he musters himself and says:

"Ye! Yes, ye! I tried reasonin' wit' ye, I tried t' meet peacably wit' ye! And ye bloody well ignored me! YEr a worse threat t' the Kingdom o' No Pants than Excal's army ever was!

"How do ye bloody well justify stickin' yer nose in th' business o' something that don't even concern ye! Tell me, how tis this YER war? What do ye have in stake? What possible right have ye to interfere?!

"And not just interfere! ye blantantly side wit' the forces o' repression! What've the Kingdom o No Pants EVER done to YE?! HUH?! Where'n the bloody hell do ye think ye get the right t' repress us? I don't care what th' hell ye think ye are, I don't care how bloody powerful ye think ye arfe! What gives ye the right t' play God with my people?! WHAT?!

"Now yer gonna stand down, or yer gonna be fightin' over me dead body! I don't care how bloody god-like ye think ye are, ye'll not be repressin' my people anymore! We're goona live free, or we're gonna die! The Kingdom of No Pants ain't yer plaything!"

No longer does the pirate feel fear; as he glares at the twin figures before him. No longer is he daunted by the vast power arrayed before him. It is freedom or death for him. Nothing shall repression the Kingdom of No Pants, so long as he lives. Nothing.

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1476
(6/2/02 8:34 pm)
Reply
Re: Chop suie
Banjooie stared at Xaq and his insistence on the FMV attacks.

"Oy! That's just plain not nice!"

*uses Telepathy machine to fill Xaq's mind full of ff3.com stories*

"Then again, that was even more evil. Oops, silly me."

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 662
(6/2/02 10:00 pm)
Reply
Re: Chop suie
*Tallpanzer appears in the center of the storm. He shows no anger or surprise. The raging storm doesn't phase him in the least. In one large breath Tallpanzer inhales the storm in it's entirety. All the wind, all the lightening, all the dark cloud, vanish into his mouth, leaving the ships un harmed. Once again Tall void walked back to the SDBFN-X MKII.*

Tallpanzer: "As I stated before. I am stronger then nature."

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Xaq Shenor
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1263
(6/2/02 11:51 pm)
Reply
Re: Chop suie
Ashura: Quite simple really. Before we sided with Excal we were simply giving both your forces a supernatural bitchslapping so that he and you would be in a perpetual stalemate until you both realized how stupid this whole thing was.

Xaq: The only reason we offered Excal our help was because he'd already realized that. All we needed to do was pound that fact into YOUR noggin.

Ashura: But seriously, whaddya gettin' so uptight over? Excal ain't repressing you or nothing. This whole ordeal's just one big fahrvegnu--

*at that moment the storm vanishes*

Ashura: ...ghen...hrmm. *shrugs* Anyway, the solution to this whole fiasco's simple...you quit bugging Excal about , he'll quit bugging you, and Xaq and I'll treat everyone to drinks down at his bar. How's that sound?

Xaq: *pyrokinetically sets Banjooie's inner ears to an uncomfortably high temperature* First 5 drinks for everyone'll be on the house. Shoes and shirts required, pants optional. Work for ya?


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Uncle Pervy
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1490
(6/3/02 12:32 am)
Reply
Re: Chop suie
The gritting of the Pirate's teeth can be heard over the roar of the his airship's engines.

"Ye think our struggle is pointless?" He asks at length, his voice deceptively calm. "Then ye don't know what we're fightin' for, do ye? We fight for equality, maties.

"Our people're without a nation. We have no home. We have to live among the panted. And we gotta liveunder their laws, their dress codes an' there regulations. We are commanded, on a regular basis, t' break the tenants we hold dear. And if we try an meet 'em halfway; we're mocked an' derided.

"Do ye know the struggle o' the Pantless? Do ye know how the moogles o' Narshe were forced to like in abandoned mines, simply because they followed th' ways o' No Pants? "Do ye know about the Sumptuary Laws o' the late Renassiance? They tried t' regulate our ways out o' existence. Do ye know about th' colonial conquests of Europe in the Caribbean; the Philiphines, Africa, and the Americas? All were movements t' crush an' suppress the ways o' No Pants.

"Now, after livin' under oppression few centuries, we were about t' break free. The Navy o' No Pants was to become our refuge, our nation. T'was to become a floating paradise fer us, in which we could live free o' th' tyranny and repression of the panted nations.

"And then, Excal goes and creates an army t' stop us. He creates a force specially commissioned t' fight the followers o' No-Pants. After allthe prejudice an' segregation, he tries t' implement the final soultion. He might as well outfit that army in Swastikas!

"We be a free people, now. Were not gonna accept that kinda tyranny anymore. If he's gonna try an' destroy the Navy o' No Pants, he's gonna hafta do it th' hard way. We've been second class citizens fer far too long. We'll stand equal an' be recognized, or we'll lie in our graves! Ain't no two ways about it.

"Wanna end th' war, disband Excal's Gestapo! That's want we want. Do that, an' the Navy'll be on its way. Because if he don't disband it, we're gonna destroy it.

"Ye still think this is pointless? Ye still think the stuggle of my people fer equality tis pointless? Then yer just as bad as Excal. We o' No Pants are gonna live free, or die."

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

Banjooie
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1486
(6/3/02 1:43 am)
Reply
Re: Chop suie
"Um, stupid question. If the Navy of No Pants win, do I still get to keep my pants?"

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1923
(6/3/02 4:38 am)
Reply
Re: Chop suie
Meanwhile, back in Excal's command centre, everyone is intently focused upon a board with the two opposing armies fully deployed upon it. The strain of minds stretching to their utmost can almost be heard as Excal finally makes a decisive action, moving a piece.

Excal: Mate in three.

'Geer: Ah spoon!

Excal (thought): Yup, gotta love playing drunks... Wonder if Pervy is still going on with his self-righeous blather at those poor cliff dwellers? Eh, like it matters to me.

Daisy: Sir, our Reciprocity Shells have been set up in half of our cannon.

Excal: Excellent, so we're ready for just in case we ever do fight. Well, who's next?

And with that, vital matters of strategy are considered once again.

It's a river overflowing with fish...... I think.

PriamNevhausten
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1495
(6/3/02 4:55 am)
Reply
Re: Chop suie
OHMYGODTOOMANYLONGPOSTSTHISISTHESPAMFORUMYOUGUYSICANTBELIEVEIT!!!!!!!!

--PRIAMWHOLIKESPIE

This is a signature virus. Please put this in your signature.

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 678
(6/3/02 12:54 pm)
Reply
Re: Chop suie
Tallpanzer: "Is it in position?"

Moogle commander: "Yes sir, Kupo!"

Tallpanzer: "Very well then, let 'er fly!"

Moogle commander: "PULLUPO!"

*THWANG! A shore line trebuchet sent a box shaped object into the air. It's long ark halted dead square in the Leviathan System. The box was in fact the legendary, Microwave with 50,000 meters of extension cord. Electricity arcked wildly and randomly all over the shield. The advanced moogle squad then returned to the safety of the SDBFN-X MKII.*

Moogles: "WOOTUPO!"

*Then they all proceeded to do the NahNahNah dance.*

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Kakita Ki 
Magic Eight Squall
Posts: 809
(6/4/02 6:30 am)
Reply
Re: Chop suie
Ki was holding her hand to her head and glanced over at BW.

"I`m wet, I`m dizzy, and I`ve just about had it with always being the target."

BW just nodded.

Lookie! Itís Akane and Ranchan in my sig! Bwhahah, cook Akane cook.

Xaq Shenor
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1274
(6/4/02 3:00 pm)
Reply
Re: Chop suie
Xaq: *blinks, raises an eyebrow, looking perplexed* Is that so....

Ashura: *nods, slowly* I think he's telling the truth, man.

Xaq: Hrmmm...this definitely puts things in a new perspective...

Ashura: ...Why do I get the feeling things are about to get ugly?

*at that moment, Xaq vanishes, reappearing back behind Excal*

Xaq: Excal, methinks you've got a little explaining to do...a few details Ashura and I weren't aware of about this whole fiasco have been brought up.

*as the halfdragon spoke, a plasmabolt began to form at his fingertips*

Xaq: Now, what's all this I'm hearing about you guys denying the No-Pantsers the right to go pantsless?

-back above-

Ashura: *senses the energy buildup within the fortress* I was right, this could deeeeeefinitely get rather ugly...


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1924
(6/4/02 5:48 pm)
Reply
Re: Chop suie
Excal: All this stuff about denying their right to go pantless? Frankly, I'm wondering where it's all coming from myself, too. Hell, all I did was change the name of my army here to the Army of Pants and they declare war on me. Now, if you don't mind, I think it's time for me to finally use my counter-strike. We can't just sit around and get shot at for eternity.

And with that, Excal gave the signal to open fire. First, a couple of mages quickly conjured up several blades of air to sever the extension cord to cut the flow of power, while another two cast Absolute Zero on the microwave itself, rendering it useless as a conductor, even if it proved nigh indestructable. Then the main barrage began.

The Vane Class Artillery Piece let loose the powerful charge it had been preparing into the midst of the scrambling Red Wings. They were then pelted with a further third of Excal's conventional artillery and a flurry of magic spells, all sent up in anticipation of their evasion pattern for avoiding the Vane shot. The half of the guns loaded with Reciprocity Shells were targetted at the SDBFM-X II. These special shells, meant to hit the target with the strength of the target itself, would be unable to bruise a newborn babe, but would be individually more powerful than a Sister Ray shot against a target as strong as the SDBFM-X. These were fired in a wide spray. Excal figured he had enough to cripple TallPanzer's ship with a wide aim to make sure that there was no chance of missing. Finally, the rest of his guns (1/6) concentrated on the flagship while his remaining mages went about rendering the newly made river quite unusable. Mostly they went about this by using several tornado spells and attempting to freeze the river with Absolute Zero spells, and crush the hulls of the river bound ships. Targetted Quake spells to open cracks in the riverbed and drain the river were deemed to have too great a risk of accidentally harming the defences.

It's a river overflowing with fish...... I think.

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 712
(6/4/02 6:29 pm)
Reply
Magic for you!
*A huge Sword blade popped up out of the SDBFN-X MKII. This blade was a perfect runic conductor. As the magic enhanced artillery shells flew through the air they were robbed of all their magical power, making them normal shells and thus useless against the hall of the SDBFN-X MKII.*

Tallpanzer: "When your a Level 99 runic knight you can do that sort of thing. All right! They want to play hardball? Send out the Rebuilt Redwing ship."

*A hatch opened in the back of the SDBFN-X MKII. From it a Redwing ship, with only one forward gun, was sent skyward. The new ship pulled up out of the range of Excal's artillery and hovered just behind the castle of the army of pants.*

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Uncle Pervy
Evil Joe
Posts: 1505
(6/4/02 6:34 pm)
Reply
Re: Magic for you!
"D'arr!" Pervy cries, then looks to Ashura "Do ye see what we face? We give 'im the chance t' accept a peaceful resolution, an' look what he does! Excal's a madman an' deadset against our ways! Now ye'll hafta be excusing me, I gotta go save me fleet!

Before Ashura can respond, Pervy hits the throttle of his personal airship and sends it rocketing toward the Cabbit Flagship.

****

"Right!" Pervy says as he emerges back onto thbe bridge, "Order the Red Wings t' draw back regroup, Tallpanzer's just about done wit' the -Outset-. 'Til then, have them sit tight and cool their heels. If they gotta play it defensive, the so be it, but don't have 'em stick their necks out just yet. But... Have' 'em use -Operation Guildenstern- at full blast. Code-word <Sydney>. and make sure their look-outs are extra-sharp while they got it playin'!"

"Relayed," Mel says after a moment.

"Good," Pervy replies, "Tell the Maritime fleet t' move in and aim at the artillery. Are the Yafutoman Engines up an' runnin?"

"Aye," Mel answers.

"Good. Have th' maritime fleet keep just below th' cloud line and bombard Excal's artillery. We just wanna neuter 'im, not kill 'em. So no mass bombardment; I want crack shots takin' their time to do th' job right. Tell 'em there's a handfull o' treasure fer each direct hit they get in a row!

Ushyu! Get yerself up to the higher atmosphere. We'll keep ye in reserve fer now. And keep yer eyes peeled fer that Vane Weapon. It's too slow t' power up to be much use agin' us as long as yer sniffin' fer its power up sequence. Keep yer lasers locked on it, too. I don't wanna hurt the people workin' it lest I got t'; but if it has t' be done, so be it. "

"What about the Mages?" Mel asks?

"What about 'em?" Pervy replies, "'Lessen they're like Xaq an' Ashura, they can't hit us. Magic's too limited in range. But sound ain't..."

****
Cannonfire rains down upon Excal's fortress. It is not a hail nor a steady rain. Instead, individual shots can be picked out as the fall upon the Castle's offensive weapons.

Over the noise of battle, a single voice cuts through the din. Blasted in concordance from ever loudspeaker in the Red Wings Fleet, the voice overwhelms all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sydney: So this is a Riskbreaker. Most men complacently accept "knowledge" as "truth". They are sheep, ruled by fear. But you are different. Always calm, detached. A smooth flow of thought into action. Indeed... it is almost as if... ...As if you had no soul. How do you do it? Body and soul are one... Yet yours are separate, like a child from the knight in his storybook. Where is your soul, Riskbreaker? Is this VKP training? Or did you see something that made you shut your soul away? Show me your soul...
-
Sydney: The city of shade will forgive your sins, my son-- And call forth a power... a power that lies within you even now! This is my game. I run, you give chase. I am the hart, and you the hunter. But this hart has laid a few snares of his own... I am waiting for you, Riskbreaker.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As -Operation Guildenstern- Does its work, the rebuilt Red Wing joins the fleet.

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

Celeste of Elvenhame
Electrial
Posts: 181
(6/5/02 12:45 am)
Reply
Re: Magic for you!
*woonders how this thread became more of an rp than spam*

---------------Celeste of Elvenhame ---------------
Want a smaller community to rp in? Come to Kalian's Pad

Xaq Shenor
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1292
(6/5/02 11:40 pm)
Reply
This is gonna get ugly..
--TELEPATHIC CONVERSATION--
Xaq: Hmm...Excal's story is pretty contradictive to Perv's, but I can tell he's telling the truth too.

Ashura: And from what UP said before he took off a second ago, I'd say he's just convinced that what he's doing is right to the point that he believes he's telling the truth.
--/TLPTHCCNVRSTN--

Xaq: ...And I fell for it. GODS but I'm an idiot...
*reappears next to Ashura*

Ashura: So what's going on?

Xaq: Excal's finally decided that he needs to mount a counter-offensive.

Ashura: Shit. So much for that...

Xaq: *growls* This whole thing's gotta stop...

Ashura: Right. No need to worry about Excal, though...I imagine as soon as Pervy's willing to stop he'll be more than ready to put the kabash on his counterstrike. So all we need to do is disarm Pervy's fleet.

Xaq: No. I'm not taking any chances with Excal turning on us. I'm not letting either of these idiots fire another shot. This ends, here and now.

Ashura: Huh?

*just as the angel started to speak, Xaq had vanished*

Ashura: ...? Where'd he...*a sudden chill rips through the air, blowing from the midsts of the battle* Oh shit...he wouldn't...

(SIDE NOTE: Boy, talk about forboding...)


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Banjooie
Evil Joe
Posts: 1533
(6/5/02 11:47 pm)
Reply
Re: This is gonna get ugly..
Banjooie looked at Xaq.
"You know what? Screw it."
*puts a seal of anti-dog moding on him*

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1933
(6/6/02 8:08 pm)
Reply
Re: This is gonna get ugly..
Meanwhile, in the bowels of the SNDBF-X, a small party of four is about ready to do what they were sent to do.

Gerad: Well, we've finally managed to break into the central core of the fortress. Are you sure that this'll work?

Excal: Yeah, if anything will.

Halifax: Excellent, McAllistar, keep a lookout, will ya while we dump this stuff in the engines.

Gerad: It still good?

Excal: Yeah, the goo is still active.

Amber: Then let's get this over with. The longer this thin stays up the more destruction it'll cause.

Excal: Gotcha. Well, down the hatch.

The younger Excal takes the lid off of a jar and pours a familiar blue goo salvaged from Salonia into the engine.

Excal: Alright, if we're lucky, that'll crash the ship, but it'll at least skew up their controls for a while. Even manual ought to be a bit wonky.

Gerad: Alright, now for phase two. Let's move.

--------------------------------------------

"Sir," the aide Daisy reported. "Gerad has just reported in. The package has been delivered on schedule."

Excal nodded as he heard the news. His barrage was effectively distracting TallPanzer from his real assault. Now to move onto the next phase of his plan. Giving one side the advantage of magic.

"Alright, tell the artillery to start using the Chorozite shells. I want their entire fleet to be left without magic. And have our windriders go out and start tossing the bags of choking powder on thier ships. Also, send out the order for all of our mages to switch back into a defensive posture and raise a shield around the castle. I want as many layers as possible so that any lucky strikes will glance off our protection."

With that order sent out, an anti-magic field was soon set up around the Navy of No-Pants as the magic absorbing Chorozite shells were detonated around them. Then, riders of flying black chocobos took flight from the besieged castle, with kerchiefs saturated with a special tonic to protect them from their payloads wrapped around their faces. Several of these riders were picked off before they could reach altitude, but the bulk of them got above the enemy airships and promptly unleashed their parcels, bags which exploded in a puff of black smoke upon landing that did no damage, but made breathing difficult for those in the thick cloud, and made visability nil. Upon dropping their entire load, the windriders went back for another load.

It's a river overflowing with fish...... I think.

Uncle Pervy
Evil Joe
Posts: 1532
(6/6/02 9:20 pm)
Reply
Re: This is gonna get ugly..
"What's going on?" Pervy demands, as the shells explode over the fleet.

"Chorozite," Mel says as she reads the scanners. "A magic killer"

"Well, only Hawkin's an' BW's gonna be hurt by that," Pervy says. "Let's put that damned river to use, eh? Ushyu, get yer lasers ready!"

"Meow!" answers a crystal as it zips by.

"Mel, tell the Red Wings t' rise past the dust; their rotors'll disperse it quickly enough. Those Windriders're kindling afore our cannons; tell the Maritine fleet to focus on them! And have th' Red Wings form up on Ushyu..."
****

Streaking past Excal's fortress, the Cabbit Ship opens fire. However, the beams do not fall on the fortess. Instead, they hit the frozen river.

The quake fissures having closed since the spells ended, a new rush of water had come under the ice, and promptly froze. Now Ushyu's lasers blast it apart, reducing the sheet of ice to land-locked icebergs. Water begins to slowly flow back in , but not enough to affect the iceburgs or move with any sort of swiftness.

Behind the Cabbit ship fly the Red Wings. They're rotor blades had quickly dispersed the smoke enough for them to navigate from the cloud and form up behind Ushyu. Standing at the decks, crew members empty out Kegs into the broken ice. As the water sluggishly comes in, it melts the ice a bit, and combines with the alcohol to create a river of Liqour on the Rocks.

The Gasmasked seamen aboard the Red Wings watch as the fumes reach Excal's fortress.

****

"Heh heh heh..." Pevy chuckles. "If they thought a flask o' Liquid Circumcision was gonna mess 'em up, let's see what a few kegs of Ole Hawkin's Headhunter's Washrag'll do to 'em! Ain't no engineer gonna outdrink a damn seaman!"











Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 724
(6/7/02 1:53 am)
Reply
Blue goo warfare eh?
Tallpanzer: "Well looks like he tired the attack the engine tactic. Hahaha, this mold doesn't have an engine. It has me as the power source, Har har har. Think I'd fall for the same trick twice, your slipping Excal."

Moogle Commander: "Sirupo our magic has been nullified!"

Tallpanzer: "Well then the odds are fair again. Oh by the way tell the Imps to set the air ship launching bay catapult to full power."

Moogle Commander: "Full-power! Kupo! Thatupo will send any ship across the planetupo!"

Tallpanzer: "Right now bring us about!"

*The Super Dimensional Battle Fortress Neo-X Mark II turned 180 degrease aiming it's aft end at Excal's castle. Energy ran along the rails of the Airship Launching catapult."

Tallpanzer: "Hasshin!"

*With a loud VUMP! The "engine", that just recently had blue goo pored into it, whet flying strait through the doors of Excal's castle. As the Daises scurried through the ruble they found 'Return to sender' stamped on the side of the engine. The great fortress turned back to facing Excal's castle.*

Tallpanzer: "Commander."

Moogle Commander: "Sirupo!"

Tallpanzer: "Have all personal prepare for operation, Rock the house."

Moogle Commander: "Sirupo!"

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Xaq Shenor 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1302
(6/7/02 2:13 am)
Reply
Re: Blue goo warfare eh?
*a soldier, with a pained expression on his face, slowly entered Pervy's chamber..*

SOLDIER: Someone..to see you..sir..

*as his last word trailed off, the soldier collapsed to the ground, quite plainly dead*

Xaq: Y'know, for someone so intent on protecting his ideals, you sure don't do much to protect yourself...
*the halfdragon draws his Masamune, an extra-dimensional twin to Pervy's*

I know what you're thinking, that Excal sent me to kill you or something, right? Well, I'm afraid not...I came on my own free will. Besides, you're not exactly gonna be alone on your trip to Hell...


--Back at Excal's fortress--

Ashura: *trying to explain what Xaq's up to to Excal, telepathically hears what the halfdragon says, sighs* So that's how it is, huh...
*unhooks sheath from back, draws Excalibur*

So be it. Sorry Excal...Xaq's decision was that the only way this whole thing's going to come to an end is to eliminate the two responsible for it, and I'm afraid I agree with him.

(OOC: Man, how's that for loyalty? ;b)



Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Uncle Pervy
Evil Joe
Posts: 1538
(6/7/02 11:08 am)
Reply
Re: Blue goo warfare eh?
Pervy looks at the halfdragon, then laughs.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA! You think you can extinguish the spirit of No Pants by defeating a single man? We're a single people, united by our beliefs; ye'll not extinguish that until we're all dead! Until then, we'll fight t' be free o' oppression.

"But, since yer itchin' fer a fight, I'll gives it t' ye! Mel, yer in command. Relay what happened to the King; he may need t' make a personal appearance. Ushyu, Teleport!"

White light floods the vision of both Pervy and Xaq. When it clears, the two stand upon a grassy hill not too far from the battlefield.

"So you gave up the home advantage, eh?" Xaq comments. "Sporting, but not very wise."

"I dinnae want t' hurt Ushyu by fightin' in her," the white mage turned pirate answers. "Out here's fine fer a shingus like ye!"

"You know you don't stand a chance," Xaq says, readying Masamune. "I will strike you done and end this foolishness."

"I've already won," the Pirate answers, as he draws his cutlass, "Ye can strike me down, but ye can't break me. I'll fight ye so long as ye try t' oppress my people, an' I don't give a bent copper who or what ye think ye are. Kill me if ye can, but ye can't take my free will. I'll be usin' that as I see fit!"

Pervy slashes low with his cutlass. Masamune snaps down to intercept the blade; the swords singing out as they clash. Xaq follows up by with a swift lunge; Pervy side steps it and Stabs high.

The half-dragon backs away from the lunge, and holds Masamune ready to strike again. Pervy presses his offensive, feinting at Xaq's right then slashing low from the other side. Xaq doesn't fall for it, and deflects the cutlass, then comes in with a swift counter as Pervy's swprd is thrown wide. Pervy reads the move in the half-dragon's body language, and steps back from the slash. He then follows up with swift slash as Masamune passes by.

Xaq'a answer is to beat his wings once, sending him flying back a few yards. "You're decent," he says, "Decent indeed." He then flaps his wings again, taking to the air and descending on Pervy with a downward stab.

The pirate dodges away easily, but Xaq changes tactics at the last second and lashes out with his sword as he lands. Pervy's cutlass snaps up to deflect the strike, then slashes downward at the half-dragon's stomach. Xaq steps back quickly from the counter, almost but not quite losing his footing.

"Yer like an open book, Xaqqie," Pervy says, "I've been fightin' fer many a year, y'see. Ye get a sense fer body language after doin' that fer so long, aye? I can read yer first motions an' figure out what ye plan t' do. T'ain't hard t' counter after that..."

Xaq'a snaps his masamune up to catch the cutlass as Pervy comes in for a high slash. The Pirate reverses the defelcted momentum, and comes in for a low sweeping cut at Xaq's leg.

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

Excaliburned
RP Moderator
Posts: 1935
(6/8/02 2:14 am)
Reply
A duel?
Excal felt like doing little other than sighing as the Celestial appeared inside his council chamber.

"So, this is the price of trying to uphold the balance is it? Very well, it seems that this battle was fated then, as the tides of this war turned to be too strong for any mere mortal to stop, so too shall the ripples from it happen by the capricious whims of fate." A sad look crossed his face as shimmering lights coalesed around his hand until they settled into the form of the Juno Blade.

"Very well, aide, relay this dispatch down to Tyrsis ASAP and have someone there take over for me while I'm busy. As for you Ashura, prepare to meet my full wrath for I shan't hold back."

And with that, Excal got in a defensive posture as he cast Juno Barrier upon himself, and got ready to see what his opponent would do.

It's a river overflowing with fish...... I think.

Banjooie
Evil Joe
Posts: 1569
(6/8/02 2:42 am)
Reply
Re: A duel?
*is wearing 53 pairs of pants*

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Xaq Shenor 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1308
(6/8/02 3:12 pm)
Reply
Re: A duel?
*as the halfdragon stared at Pervy with a cold look in his eyes, the world around him began to go into a haze*

Xaq: Ghhhhhh.......head.....hurts.....rrrrgh....

*a moment passed as Xaq looked around*

Xaq: ...The hell am I doing here!? Last I recall I was out on the cliff with Ashura downing........*pieces things together*

Xaq: .....Oh.....so THIS is what a hangover feels like...


---Back at Excal's fortress---

Ashura: .....Oh BROTHER....I should've realized this from the start. *resheaths sword* Sorry 'bout that Excal...it seems neither I nor Xaq were in much of a thinking mood when we decided to get involved in this whole ordeal...when Pervy tried to spike your water supply I syphoned all the Liquid Circumcision from it and put it in a keg out on the cliff we were at...apparently we had a few more shots than we should have. *holds head in hand and chuckles* We're both just a tad sloshed right now. *giggles* I have to admit, though, for a guy with a BAC 8x the legal limit in most countries, Xaq sure could hide it pretty well...I dun think I'm gunna do as gud, tho...

*the angel catches a fit of giggles as he staggers towards the door*

Ashura: I think the alcohol's finally starting to get to me, so I'll just show myself to the nearest exit...
...
...
...Oh wait, that's right. Silly me, forgot I can just telezort outta here. *vanishes, reappearing right outside the nearest window, where he can be seen dropping like a Rolling Rock...err, like a rock, rather. ^^*


**THUD**

--Back with Pervy--

Xaq: *rattles head, trying to get some coherent thought* Pervy.....PLEASE tell me I haven't made as much of an ass of m'self as I'm thinking I have...I didn't blow any of yer ships up or anything, did I?

(dialogue from Pervy)

Xaq: .....Crap, that's what I was afraid of....hey, listen...I think I'm just gonna get out of here before I throw up all over yer floor or something...you can just forward the bill for anything I broke to me. *teleports out*


---Back on the cliff---

Xaq: *still hungover* Ggggghhhhhhh....what the hell were we THINKING, Ashura?

Ashura: *still drunk* I dunno, man....but you gotta admit, it was fun, no? *HIC!*

Xaq: ...You're nuts, you know that?

Ashura: Llllllike a fork, man! Nnnnuts like a fork! Hehehehe...*tries to down another shot of LiqCirc, misses* Hmmm.....booze is goin' flat.

Xaq: *sighs, lays back down, and puts some ice on his head* As soon as I get over this hangover I think I'm just going to hang myself...

Ashura: *shakes head drunkenly* Heyyyyyy man, don-don't let it get the besht of ya...beshides, look on da blight slide.

Xaq: *looks over at Ashura like he's about to kill him* And what the hell might that be?

Ashura: Now ya nose that you CAN akshually get hammurrred! *laughs like an idiot*

Xaq: *groans* Oh, that makes me feel SO much better...

----

POINT TO THIS POST: Banjooie just AIMed me a minute ago telling me how much of an idiot I was being...this is simply my best, albeit still sorrily pathetic attempt at covering that all up. This also marks my withdrawal from the whole scenario so as I don't schmuck it up any further.


Xaq Shenor
Just your average half-dragon pyromancer/artist..

Uncle Pervy
Evil Joe
Posts: 1554
(6/9/02 3:30 pm)
Reply
Re: A duel?
For a moment, the Pirate considers Running Xaq through as the half-dragon staggers. Then he realizes what is happening,and nearly laughs aloud.

>Ah, Hawkins...< Pervy muses as Xaq explains himself, >Yer handiwork strikes again.<

"Ye'll be getting me bill, alright." PErvy says as Xaq teleports away.

Putting a finger up to his Comms units, Pervy says, "Ushyu! Teleport me back to the bridge! It's time t' establish the Way of No Pants as equals once an' fer all!"

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

PriamNevhausten
Evil Joe
Posts: 1557
(6/9/02 7:37 pm)
Reply
Re: A duel?
*Vegas showgirls dance across the screen, showing people the enlightenment of the NoPantsites*

--Priam

This is a signature virus. Please put this in your signature.

Banjooie
Evil Joe
Posts: 1646
(6/11/02 8:00 pm)
Reply
Re: A duel?
*starts selling "Navy of No Pants" T-shirts...*
*that are secretly woven from pants!*

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Zemyla
Evil Joe
Posts: 1522
(6/11/02 11:52 pm)
Reply
Re: A duel?
Go, Banjooie! Every shirt you make is one less pair of pants in the world!

-----
Zemyla "Do not attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps."

Archmage144 
Fire Dragon
Posts: 1416
(6/12/02 12:41 am)
Reply
Re: A duel?
Arch mage144: Oh Banjooie >_>
Kirbjooie: Yes?
Arch mage144: You're officially going to be given an award.
Kirbjooie: Oh?
Arch mage144: *confers upon Banjooie the honor of "Pantless Defender, 3rd Class"*
Kirbjooie: Um, why?
Arch mage144: Because you have purified the pants by making them into shirts.
Arch mage144: And, we get royalties on each one sold.
Kirbjooie: Ah.
Kirbjooie: Thanks.
Arch mage144: Indeed.

Yay for fewer pants! Up with t-shirts!

The Archmage:
Sadistic GM or handsome bishounen? You decide!
RPGWW! Beware of GM!

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." ~Voltaire, French Philosopher
"Learn about art, Captain. When you understand a species' art, you understand that species." ~Grand Admiral Thrawn
"Love is when 72 billion monkeys steal a porsche and drive it off a cliff." ~Rube

Timberwolf
Bard
Posts: 9
(6/12/02 11:41 pm)
Reply
Re: A duel?
(aboard a frigate that has stayed near the back of the formation)

(The captain of this vessle looks at several papers that are piled on his desk. His office is small and has no windows and it's contents are scattered and unorginized. He hears a knock on his door)

Captain: Come in.

(A man wearing black armor and a katana attached to his back enters)

Man: You needed me Captain Skippy?

CS: Yes. What's yer name son?

Man: Chris, codenamed Timberwolf.

CS: And what's your background son?

TW: I host a small show along with another respected man in this army. And I am working on blade technics.

CS: Have you ever done infiltration before?

TW: (Smirks) I can say that I have.

CS: Good, you've been assigned to infiltrate Excal's castle and destroy Vane Class weaponry. And your name is who again?

(A name entering screen pops up)
TW: (angry) I'VE ALREADY GIVEN YOU MY NAME YOU MORON! Er, uh...Timberwolf sir.

(Timberwolf Salutes)
TW: I will fufil the ways of the pantless! For, pants are hot in the summer, and in the winter they are useless! Those who wear pants are weak fools...

CS: Need any weapons?

TW: ...I would rather roll around in the snow pantless than
to have pants on...

CS: Do you need any weapons?

TW: ...but snow does get rather cold sometimes so I would just wear some robes to keep me warm...

CS: SHUT UP!

TW: Yes sir.

CS: NOW GO!

(Timberwolf leaves again with a sad look on his face)
TW: (as he leaves) Didn't get to finish my speech...

KingOfDoma
Silver Haired Guy
In Gold Trimmed Armor

Posts: 394
(6/14/02 10:03 pm)
Reply
Re: A duel?
*arrives upon the scene with about 100 warriors*

Uh... where do we sign up to kick some pantswearing butt? :D

--------------------



Er, hello? Help? Can someone get him to hit the A button.... please?

Uncle Pervy
Evil Joe
Posts: 1634
(6/14/02 11:41 pm)
Reply
Re: A duel?
"How's the infiltrator doin'?" Pervy asks.

"Captain Skippy's mages just teleported him inside the walls while the shield was blinking out." Reports Mel.

"Good, good!" Pervy says. "Now we just gotta wait, and see what that Excal's doin' while squattin' in there..."

"Mreow!" exclaims a crystal as it floats past Pervy's head.

"Soldiers?" Asks the white mage turned pirate. "Put them up the viewscreen!"

Looking toward the screen, Pervy sees a hundred or so troops milling about on the ground, being lead by a man clad in a turban.

"Heh heh!" chuckles the white mage turned pirate, "Allies! That's th' King o' Doma! Ushyu, Teleport me down there!"

"Myu-meow!" Answers the ship, as white energy surrounds the pirate.

****

The soldiers of Doma ready their arms as the white mage turned pirate appears in front of them. "Wait!" He cries, "Name's Uncle Pervy! I'm th' Grand Admiral o' th' Navy o' No Pants! I'm here t' welcome ye!"

Turning to face the King of Doma, pervy bows his head respectfully, then says, "Welcome t' th' fray. Ye wanna help defend the rights o' No Pants, ye came t' th' right place!"

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

KingOfDoma
Silver Haired Guy
In Gold Trimmed Armor

Posts: 395
(6/15/02 12:11 am)
Reply
Re: A duel?
"Yep... feel like kickin' some pants lovin, wife hurtin butt! Ain't that right, guys!"

*men cheer in response*

"Now... where are 100 skilled warriors and their experienced commander needed?"

--------------------



Er, hello? Help? Can someone get him to hit the A button.... please?

Uncle Pervy
Evil Joe
Posts: 1639
(6/15/02 12:52 am)
Reply
Re: A duel?
"Hmmm," Pervy says, "Can ye get over them walls? We need somebody t' stop that artilery fire."

"Yes," answers the King, "We'll choke the barrels with our dead!"

"HA!" Pervy exclaims, "I love yer spirit! Take 'em down, matey, and the first three rounds afterward're on me!"

With that said, Pervy puts his finger to his communicator and says "Ushyu, take me back. Mel, relay a cease order to the Maritime fleet. We need them to be ready for more aerial forces; The King o' Doma'll take care o' th' artillery."

With that said, Pervy is teleported back to the Flagship

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

11 Kaisui 11 
NPC
Posts: 58
(6/15/02 1:25 am)
Reply
Re: A duel?
*Is on the No-Pants Navys FlagShip serving drinks and refreshment dressed in a bunny costume complete with fluffy ears and tail.*

"This is harder than I thought. But I must keep the spirits of the soilders up! And using my cute smile and well mixed refreshments, We shall win this war!"

*Wipes her forehead and continues to serve drinks*

Who ever said stubborn isn't cute?

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

Many people, when they run into a telephone pole, blame the pole.

Uncle Pervy
Evil Joe
Posts: 1640
(6/15/02 1:58 am)
Reply
Re: A duel?
Feeling good about the coming battle, Uncle Pervy reappaears on the bridge of the cabbit ship. Taking a seat, he smiles as Gez gives a shot of rum.

Downing it, he hands her the Shotglass, then says, "Gez, I wanna transfer ye down t' the main Red Wings ship. They're spirits're flaggin' after all the damage those drunks pour on the fleet there. Ye willing t' them help out?"

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

11 Kaisui 11 
NPC
Posts: 62
(6/16/02 1:29 pm)
Reply
Re: A duel?
"I'm on it, sir!" Gez turns around in her black bunny suit with fluffy tail and ears.

"Oh wait! Sir, would it be okay if my sister Zara came with me? The sooner we rise those spirits the sooner we can win this war!"

Zara: "Did someone call my name?" Zara walks into the room holding a same type of tray holding certain refreshments. A few eyes turn her way as she walks over to Gez in a black, tight cat suit. Equipped with fluffy pointed cat ears and a long fluffy tail twitching slighly. As the rest of the suit leaves nothing much to the imagination.

"Hai Zara-chan! We need to transfer to the main Red Wing ship on the double! We need spirits to rise there!!"

Zara: "Okay...-.-" But did I have to wear this thing?

"...Yes."

Zara and Gez quickly stock up on some drinks and stand over, away from the controls as their bodies begin to shimmer as they transport over to the other ship.

Who ever said stubborn isn't cute?

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

Many people, when they run into a telephone pole, blame the pole.

Timberwolf
Chookie's Little Brother
Posts: 16
(6/17/02 2:40 pm)
Reply
Re: A duel?
Inside the cold castle wall Timberwolf begins his infiltration. The walls are a cold grey, paintings of different styles of pants rest o the walls. He shudders at the thought of wearing such things. Timberwolf flattens his body against a wall and begins slinking along.

"Damn, this place has pant lovers written all over it," Timberwolf commented. A guard's shadow crossed the Wolf's face. He'd been spotted! The guards began persuit but couldn't keep up, it was brilliant. At infiltration school Timberwolf was schooled in how to avoid the ones with pants. He knew, as did any other member of the no pants forces that pants slow one down! The rub and rub, rub, rub against the legs! Then he realized something. He didn't know where in the castle the white mages telported him. He took up a small communicator and typed in a frequency.

"Pervy sir? Do you read me? It's Chr...er, Timberwolf! Where the hell am I in the castle? Skippy didn't brief me!"

Uncle Pervy
Evil Joe
Posts: 1675
(6/17/02 2:54 pm)
Reply
Re: A duel?
"Dammit ye bloody shingus!" Pervy curses as Timberwolf's transmission comes through, "Yer supposed t' be keepin' radio silence lessen' ye need it! Th' last thing we need is fer Excal t' home in on yer signal!

"Right then, yer in th' walls right now. Tis up t' ye t' find that Vane class weapon an' deal wit' it. The King o' Doma'll be stormin' th' walls soon, so ye'll have a distraction. And break th' shield generator while yer at it if ye can."

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!

Timberwolf
Chookie's Little Brother
Posts: 17
(6/17/02 3:52 pm)
Reply
Re: A duel?
"Ok Pervy...er, sir." Timberwolf replies as he closes the communication link. Instead of waiting for the distraction, the silent figure decided to move towards the shield. Silent, sneaky, and quietly he walked...and then ran into a wood beam. He gripped his head in pain and begun cursing then continued walking along again.

TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 737
(6/17/02 7:07 pm)
Reply
I... HATE.... SOUR-CROUT!
Moogle Commander: "Weupo are ready toupo "rock the house" sirupo!"

Tallpanzer: "We can't, we have troops out there. It would far to dangerous for them. reload the trebuchet. This time use crate 72."

Moogle Commander: "Yes sir! Kupo!"

*Moments later a large crate went flying into the air and came crashing down on Excal's castle. It splintered on impact and splattered it's contents all over. Sour-crout, a ton of it, covered it's point of contact and began to slide down towards the ground.*

Moogle Commander: "Reload! Kupo!"

*The moogle seig team readied another crate of sour-cout for the trebuchet to fire.*

Tallpanzer: "Chew on that, pants lovers."

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Banjooie
Airship
Posts: 1758
(6/17/02 7:26 pm)
Reply
Re: I... HATE.... SOUR-CROUT!
Hey...can I be in the Navy of No Pants and still wear pants? See, I support the right to not wearing pants, but um...yeah.

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

11 Kaisui 11 
Mage
Posts: 76
(6/18/02 8:10 am)
Reply
I luv Dr Pepper...mmm
*Gez walks around the corner busy in her own thoughts only to see Banjooie talking to himself about wearing pants.*

"Oh my god!"

*Running as fast as she could away from Banjooie still in a leather bunny suit, Gez finds the nearest communicater.*

"Please come in. We have a spy sighted on Red Wing Ship. Please come in. I need back-up, I need any help that is possible!"

*Listening for someone to reply to her, Gez looks out for anybody coming down the hallways. But nobody comes. The Ship seems suddenly silent, as if the engines have stopped themselves.*

"Wait a second...The engines have stopped! Ah! The ship has been taken over!!"

*Gez grabs the communicater and yells down the line*

"Somebody come in! The Red Wing ship has been taken over! Darn it! Come in! ><"

Who ever said stubborn isn't cute?

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

Many people, when they run into a telephone pole, blame the pole.

Timberwolf
Chookie's Little Brother
Posts: 18
(6/18/02 12:31 pm)
Reply
Re: I luv Dr Pepper...mmm
Timberwolf heard the painful crys of the Red Wing ship in his earpiece but decided to uphold his radio silence. "A spy...damn, this might screw things up." Timberwolf said to himself. He had to break the silence, he couldn't take it any more. "Perhaps I could relay the message to Pervy." He opened his communicator. "High Pervy Sir! Come in! This is Timberwolf. I'm sorry for breaking radio silence but the Red Wings ship has been taken over send hel..." Timberwolf was cut off as 4 guards tackled him.

"Dammit. They've intercepted the message! FREE THE NO PANTS!" He said as he was dragged off into the castle.

Edited by: Timberwolf at: 6/18/02 12:35:09 pm
TALLPANZER
Magitoaster
Posts: 741
(6/18/02 5:00 pm)
Reply
Good thing I keep one ear to the com
Tallpanzer: (A spy! rats! I left the SDBFN-X MKII undefended to many times already. Excal may take advantage of it this time. Hmmmm, I Know!) "Fusion!"

*A black and green reploid with jet like wings appeared in front of Tallpanzer.*

Fusion: "You called sir?"

Tallpanzer: "Go to the red wing ship and defeat the spy on board. We don't have time for interruptions."

Fusion: "Right away sir."

*The reploid teleported to the red wing ship. He landed on the main deck and ran a weapons check.*

Fusion: "Pyro-blaster, check. Cryo-blaster, check. Shadow armor, check. Vibro-saber, check. Good to go."

*Then he took off for the lower decks to hunt down Banjooie.*

I look forward, and it's a beautiful day.

Ganonfro
He Kicks Cute Things
(Poll Mod)

Posts: 2319
(6/18/02 5:29 pm)
Reply
Re: Good thing I keep one ear to the com
*Sails up in his small tug boat and looks around with binoculars* Weeeeeeeeee..... *Sails off slowly*

Arrrrrg, I'm a pirate! ---------------------------------

Squintz Altec 
Melody of Finite
Posts: 139
(6/18/02 10:56 pm)
Reply
Re: Good thing I keep one ear to the com
*signs up*

Pants defy Justice.

Banjooie
Airship
Posts: 1790
(6/19/02 1:21 am)
Reply
Re: Good thing I keep one ear to the com
I..just..came...to..ask...I'm not going to force anyone to wear pants.....please don't hurt me...

Kirbjooie: Yeah
Arch mage144: Yeah.
Kirbjooie: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah!?
Germanfox9: Yeah.
Archmage144: ...yeah.
Germanfox9:Yeah.
Arch mage144: Yeah v.v
----- Yeah.. uh.... yeah.

Kakita Ki 
Magic Eight Squall
Posts: 819
(6/19/02 6:35 am)
Reply
Re: Good thing I keep one ear to the com
"Banjooie, I don`t think wearing pants while in the navy of NO pants will work." Ki patted him on the shoulder."All you have now is the trouble of people thinking your a spy and I can`t help you there." Ki quickly ran back to her post before someone saw.

Lookie! Itís Akane and Ranchan in my sig! Bwhahah, cook Akane cook.

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